Puschels passion: http://www.mfh-elsalvador.org
Diary 2012
01th of February 2012
31th of January 2012
Many of you want to know how Puschel is really doing, to pray more specifically for her and so I have to write you today that we‘re really not able to say, how long her heart and also her kidneys will function anymore. We really need to expect at any time that she will be called into eternity. And although we have been at that point once already, now the situation is much more different considering all the indications. We know that God is able to do a miracle at any time (or better to say something for HIM quite normal, but it would be a miracle for us). However, it looks totally different at the moment. I‘m sitting next to her bed right now and I can hear her strong breathing. Everything is completely in God‘s hand! How good to know!!! To ease breathing for Puschel we have been outside extensively, today. That‘s been good. Maybe the cold winter air is a good precondition for a really deep sleep, which she did not get last night... We won‘t give up, particularly because so many of you are faithfully praying for her. Many many thanks for that, again and again!
30th of January 2012
This day was one of the best of recent times, for Puschel and for us as well. That is because on the one hand Puschel was able to go outside for an extensive time and in a glorious sunshine. And the clear and fresh air of the winter was good for her breathing and she simply gets quieter then.
On the other hand that is because once more Dr. Siems came from Rostock, not only to see Puschel, but also to try different things in the treatment. That in addition gave her a distinct relief. So, now she is laying in her bed, fairly k.o.. Please pray with us that she is furthermore filled with God‘s peace and rest deep down into her dreams (surely caused by some medicine she dreams sometimes quite a bit confusing stuff and that‘s bringing herself to heel then). Thank you for each prayer! God bless you!
29th of January 2012
Today much was going on around Puschel! It‘s been nice to have visitors, even for her, although she did not get everything and everybody. Her current condition did not really change. We just hope that she is able to sleep really well now and that she does not realize much of her difficult and arduous breathing.
It‘s been nice that she wanted to go outside again, today. So we went into the cold and dark and it‘s been good for her and for her breathing. Even the colour of her face was really good after it... we pray again and again that Puschel receives God‘s peace deeply even into all her dreams. That‘s more than everything else. And therefore we‘re really grateful that so many of you are doing the same. Many thanks to all who wrote an email to Puschel or us or left a not in her guestbook. I often fail to answer all of you promptly, but it‘s really a gift and encouragement!
And of course we will keep you updated!
28th of January 2012
Just sat beside Puschel for a time to read her from the book “Heaven is for real”.
Puschel wanted to hear still more but she she fell asleep soon... And that is really good and a grace in all this circumstances. Visibly she is able (sometimes with a little medical help) to sleep well and anduring the whole night. So it seems that she feels her heavy breathing not so strong. May be it is more heavy to sit beside than to go through byself (at least it seems to be so and of course we we hope that...)
At the afternoon today I asked her if she wants to go outside for a while into the fresh air. She wanted to go immediately... Just came for a visit her grandpa with his wife. They both and Silas and Titus with family too came with us. So a big escort we hadn´t for a long time...
After that we had a time with Puschel in singing songs in praying together. How good that Puschel can be at home! We´r thankfull alltimes that God gave us Dr. Siems and the other doctors there into our way with Puschel!
Please pray only that Puschel will be still able to sleep well and that God makes her (last) way not more heavy!
27th of January 2012
This midmorning we were in Waren in the medical radiology to get a CT scan of Puschel‘s lungs and her head. It clearly results that the problems with breathing are caused by more and more water in her lungs. This again is caused by over-stressing her heart and her circulation constantly (to explain it in a non-technical way).
Considered medically there is no way out of this spiral.
We just can see day by day now and try to ease Puschel‘s life as good as we can. Of course we would like to do that.
Puschel realized again in tears today that it‘s getting worse and worse... It‘s so good to know that we as children of God know that life and dead, time and eternity are solely in God‘s hand. And how good and comforting is it to know that Puschel IS a child of God and eventually she will be at home in eternity with our LORD.
It‘s good that God usually placed the wish to live gladly and to hold on to this life in our hearts and in Puschel‘s, too. If God wants to do a miracle and keep Puschel on this earth than I guess it‘s time now... and if God wants to take Puschel home in eternity we hope that HE is going to make this last way not too hard for Puschel and for us. And we‘re thankful and glad for all your support and every prayer!
26th of January 2012
We will not show you picture from the ambulance again... at the moment we are completely baffled, more than before... Puschel came very well through this day at the „blood garage“. Unfortunately shortness of breath has still priority. It started this morning again. The X-rays did not give us new insights until now. The physicians in Teterow trace the air hunger to the metastases in her lungs. But for us the question is why it occurred fulminant and vigorously. Maybe it is caused also by a bronchitis or even a lung inflammation. We‘re going to try to clarify that. We will get the final results of the X-rays not until tomorrow. Today Puschel got an inhalator, which should help to relieve the distress a little bit.
We know that everything yet to come is completely in God‘s hand. And we‘re still glad about each day. Of course we desperately wish for Puschel that she does not have to suffer more. We pray for that and we fight for that, but it‘s not in our hands. Therefore we are glad that you pray together with us. Because everything is ultimately and completely in God‘s hand. We can and we want to trust him that HE is going to mean and finally make everything well, even if we would wish to have some things different.
25th of January 2012
We will not show you picture from the ambulance again... at the moment we are completely baffled, more than before... Puschel came very well through this day at the „blood garage“. Unfortunately shortness of breath has still priority. It started this morning again. The X-rays did not give us new insights until now. The physicians in Teterow trace the air hunger to the metastases in her lungs. But for us the question is why it occurred fulminant and vigorously. Maybe it is caused also by a bronchitis or even a lung inflammation. We‘re going to try to clarify that. We will get the final results of the X-rays not until tomorrow. Today Puschel got an inhalator, which should help to relieve the distress a little bit.
We know that everything yet to come is completely in God‘s hand. And we‘re still glad about each day. Of course we desperately wish for Puschel that she does not have to suffer more. We pray for that and we fight for that, but it‘s not in our hands. Therefore we are glad that you pray together with us. Because everything is ultimately and completely in God‘s hand. We can and we want to trust him that HE is going to mean and finally make everything well, even if we would wish to have some things different.
24th of January 2012
Puschel slept well, but this morning she had to come back to life first... but then we had a beautiful and until the evening quite stable day. In the afternoon we could go outside in her big „laying - wheelchair“ for a beautiful walk in bright sunshine. You can see it allusively on the pictures... It‘s been nearly like in the olden days: Puschel took the pictures with her Nikon (of course not all of them...) and pleasured in the beautiful winter weather.
Altogether she is doing much better than yesterday. However, it seems that she is getting an infection, perhaps a bronchitis, again. We hope that the hospital can give us further information tomorrow and propose something. This evening she could not breath very well again. Probably we will start tomorrow morning right away. And our hope is that they take X-rays at the hospital, too, and a blood test. Thanks for accompany us in prayer.
Aprospos, the Bible word of these day in Germany is in Psalm 46,2-3: |
23th of January 2012
Puschel is at home again!! She actually got 2 blood transfusions, today. This morning, right after she woke up, they drew blood and then she had a 8-hours-day. Now she is quite k.o., but glad because everything worked very well. Our hope is now that she will feel a distinct improvement tomorrow. On Wednesday she has to do the same thing again, because these 2 blood transfusions are insufficient. Normally she would have to stay in the hospital until tomorrow, but you know how she is really sick of being in the hospital. In Teterow they were very friendly and approached our wish to go home. So she will get 2 more on Wednesday.
With breathing she still has problems, but of course it needs a little time until she can experience a distinct relief in that issue. Let‘s hope that she can sleep through the night and recover with much rest.
22th of January 2012
Maybe you want to watch the appendix to yesterday‘s update... sometimes strength comes exactly to the right time...! Today Puschel was fit enough right for the service, so that she could join. After that her strength was gone and also going outside was not possible today. We needed to focus on how we can come through the weekend and the beginning of this new week, to see on Monday what opportunities we have to help her to gain more strength again. Once again we have to think about a blood transfusion and other things. All of this is not possible during the weekend of course. But as often such problems come often straight before the weekend...
But we are thankful and glad that Puschel overcame everything so well until now. In between times Puschel got nearly a bit of panic attacks, because she couldn‘t breath very well. Now we just hope that she comes to rest and that she sleeps through the night and then we will see what tomorrow brings.
As you can see, even in between a day the situation can change. However, we still know what happened a few weeks ago... we are still thankful for each day!
21th of January 2012
Puschel still needs kind of a „starting time“ in the morning, but in the afternoon and evening she is mostly doing fairly well. So it was today. She was able to eat normally with us in the kitchen, together with her little nieces, her big brother and his wife. And she still tries to get some fresh air outside everyday.
Furthermore, according to the plan, she took a bath today. This went very well. Insofar not much new happened today, but it‘s the „normal things“ which are like a miracle for her. And so she could be really happy this day. Even now she is hoping that she would be able tomorrow to come to the living room, so that she can join our service there... that‘s good, isn‘t it?
1:00 A.M:
Now I want to give you a new information for now: Since some hours Puschel has hard problems with her breathing. She has since some days noises from her lungs but now really problems. Of course we hops it will be not a serious and enduríng problem. But for her that all is serious... Thank you for praying for that!
20th of January 2012
Sometimes the circumstances aren‘t that easy, especially for Puschel herself, as all she can do is laying in her bed alone. And in addition to that there are smaller, sometimes not really comprehensible infections from time to time. The day before yesterday she suddenly got an intestinal infection. Now her breathing causes problems. Her lungs rales a little bit. This of course prompts questions if it‘s maybe caused by the metastases in her lungs... and of course this could be! We did not have any examination since at least half a year. And then we have to and can realize that again and again everything, each new day which we experience is in God‘s hand. It‘s the same with all of us of course, but with Puschel and all who are in a similar situation it is more obvious. How good to know that it is not random and it‘s not tragic fate!
And how good that all of you pray the whole time for Puschel (and even for us), because sometimes human strength is insufficient! And sometimes there are depressing thoughts even for Puschel and then there is not enough strength left to powerfully trust. But with God‘s strength (I cannot explain it in another manner) there is never bad temper, but his peace is always present. That‘s a miracle and that‘s a gift. Thank you God! And thanks to you for every prayer and all your support!
19th of January 2012
It‘s sometimes really late with my updates on these website. The reason is that I have to lead some services or other church meetings. Today it was a bible meeting. Only after that I´m able to write the update here. I am so sorry for that but it isn´t possible better...
Today we not really new pictures above. But anyway the left picture is important becaus it shows how Puschel is working alltimes to come “on the legs” again. For a good re-mobilizing is it necessary to stand up as often as possible. So it´s possible to help up her blood circulation.
Now comes the news of the day: probably at the next week Puschel will get the bed training device!
The health insurance company advocated to can try these device for some weeks. If it is helpfull for Puschel she can use it for the necessary time.
Thank you for all your prayer and all encouragement. God knows how important it will be for Puschel. Will show you the pictures of that later...
18th of January 2012
It‘s always a question how much details we should give you - like we did with the bed-training-device. We do not want to moan or complain, because altogether we‘re really doing well. And who else has hordes of friends and prayers backing us, like we do...?
Some of you asked or gave us advice to help. That‘s really great. Now we send an inquiry in a matter of urgency to the health insurance company and we asked them to decide the issue and if necessary to go over the head of the assessment of the medical service. They have all possibilities to do that... many thanks to you for all your demands, hints or support!! We will give account!
But once we are with these themes we can depict you another „construction area“: We did file a lawsuit against the social services department in our administrative district so that Puschel finally will get permanent public assistance (basic security) in the amount which is due to her. But yesterday we got a notification from them that Puschel will get 170 € less (a reduction nearly by half...). They found a ploy to save the costs for rental, heating and some others...
I write these things simply to describe it and to remind some of you to pray for it here and there. Thank you ever so much!
Like I said, we are thankful for everything and for every new day which God gives us together with Puschel. And some of you can experience her sometimes. Please just pray that she will not lose courage, but that she accept her circumstances again and again like they are. It‘s already solely a miracle...
17th of January 2012
Today we came to know that the medical service, which is responsible for the health insurance company, cannot approve (or doesn‘t want to?) that Puschel can get such a „leg-mobilization device for her bed“. They decided that this would not be necessary or justifiable after watching Puschel‘s file... it‘s clear that if they watch Puschel‘s file, they cannot understand her current situation. She is laying in her bed since many weeks and does have nearly no muscles in her calf... but they won‘t find any report from a doctor or an evaluation from the last 10 weeks. Nevertheless, we will now try to plausibly explain the health insurance company why Puschel still needs such a device... it would be really good if she could get it as soon as possible.
With her pains it‘s sometimes good and sometimes not. Altogether it‘s ok! We‘re still very thankful for every day! Thanks that you pray further for her. We will keep you updated...
16th of January 2012
Today Puschel had a really calm day. On the one hand it was calm, on the other hand it was exciting, but not restless exciting. Today she got another opportunity to embrace the world a little bit more. We were able to install a big screen in her room with what she can use the internet, use her computer in a better way and of course also she can watch movies „really good“. This was possible because some of you spent money for no reason and therefore it‘s also a present from her friends and siblings. Since a long time we consider it as a miracle and as an answer to our prayers that she did not totally despair because she can do nothing than just lay and not acting independently. Now she can do it at least a little bit better. Her eyes are not that good yet, but it gets better. And who knows, maybe she can write one or another e-mail soon...
Besides that it‘s been calm, even with her pains. And that‘s quite good news. I can go on like that...
15th of January 2012
It was in all cases one of the better days for Puschel. Her great desire was it to can join in our church Sunday service at least from our living room on the tv-screen. Puschels big wheel chair had not enough space in our church room... Puschels grandpa was the preacher today. To hear him was also good in front of the screen... After that it was happen a lot for Puschel because many people wanted to talk with her. She had power and energy enough! At the afternoon she had been in the fresh air again. For the evening was a big bath on the scedule... In the end Puschel sank into her pillows in the bed and slept very soon... In the end of the walk outside she got a hard pain attac again. But all in all it was a really good Sunday for her.
You all we wish a really good new week!
14th of January 2012
Considering the pains in her legs it stagnates. Yet, it did not diminish and so we can hope that her condition stabilizes bit by bit. Today Puschel had visitors once again. Surprisingly Markus Spieker signed up, who has less time of course, because he works at the the television. But he absolutely wanted to visit Puschel again and so he came summarily driven from Berlin. Puschel was sleeping deeply for her midday nap, when she got surprised.
Also, by early evening Puschel‘s aunt Dorothea & Sieghard Reiter from Rostock came for a visit, and in the evening grandpa Holmer... So there was a lot going on.
Now we hope again for a good and calm night and that Puschel is able to join the service of our church tomorrow.
13th of January 2012
Puschel is not doing towering well but better a lot than at the last week. Therefor we are really very thankfull. Today we were again in the fresh air. You can see that by the pictures above. That is allways good also if it´s not very long. Today it was a little too windy and too cold... And also the big pain in he rlegs are giving a limit for a longer way.
But all in all Puschel is doing right well.
Now quite another matter: Some of you transferred money for Puschel in the past. Of course we are very grateful for that, because we have to spend a lot of money for all the treatments and therapies, transports, etc.! The problem is that a few times people transferred money without a reference that this is for Puschel‘s treatments and transports and other costs caused by her disease. As a consequence the social services department count this money nearly completely against her basic security (which, by the way, Puschel did not get completely since 2009). So we would like to ask you that if you have plans to transfer money for Puschel please use the account which is listed on our contact site. And please note the purpose on the form simply as I described it above. It would be a shame if you want to give money for Puschel‘s welfare and in the end you spend it for the social services department... And these procedure isn´t illegal.
However, we are very thankful for your help and we just can say: May God bless you for that! It‘s really a privilege to be part of God‘s big family!! And it is e great encouragement!
12th of January 2012
Today in the morning Puschel slept really elaborate. But then she had an all in all really good day. Up to the evening she was doing one more sigificant better. That means she has to suffer under less pain. And all of you those are knowing Puschel knows too that she wants to go alltimes up to her limits... At the moment that means for Puschel not to can walk around but at least first to can stay a while beside her bed. She did it...! It was to see that her blood was flowing down to her legs... Clear that it is in all cases a really good thing for her blood circulation. And of course also for her psyche etc... Additional: by the pictures you can see how much joy she has - also in laying in her bed - with her little Gracy...
Nobody knows how she is doing with her tumor and where all things will go in the future. But we want to take each single better day thankfull from the hands of our God.
11th of January 2012We cannot show you here new pictures because it doesn´t happans really news. But a new entry I will give you.
It is about unchanged with Puschels doing comparable to the last few days. It isn´t significant better. But at the last night she slept very well - complete without sleep medicine. That´s also a good news. A little better is it with her pain in her legs. And we´re allready contentedly with little steps... so we are still hopefully... - and we´re thankfull that you´re hopefull with us!
10th of January 2012
Today the day began like the last day has ended... - not so good. We had to look again step by step how it can go. But at the afternoon we could see a little better situation in her legs. Puschel came more in calm with less pain. She took a bath at the afternoon. That is allways a lot of stress for her legs. But after that she is allmost able to sleep a time. So after her sleep at night we could maker her a really ggod meal for the night... Now we hope only that these night will be better than the last nights. We are knowing that God is able to give her rest and peacefullness for her whole body and her heart. Thank you for staying still in prayer for her. so we want to stay patience in trusting our Lord!
09th of January 2012
When the last entry yesterday was ready Puschel got anew more and more strong pain in her legs especially in her left leg. So it is still with Puschel at the moment good and at the next moment much different. The big problem is that by these Puschel s day and normal life is really influenced. In the end she isn´t able to sleep good in these pain. Therefore her night began about 1:30 A.M. And she woke up already at eight. So she was tired for the whole day. Additional she had these pain for the whole day. And we doesn´t know what we can do against that.
Puschel is still really present and awake but so she feels much more that she isn´t able to do anything activ and by herself.
So we see again how depend we are from our Lord and only can take every day from HIS hands. That we want to do allways - not only Puschel but we all too!
08th of January 2012
Today Puschel had again a little better day than before. In the morning she was able to watch our Sunday church service by the internet. Tince then she had been completely awake and active, of course inclusive a good nap at midday time... Now she has still a few hours for being awake with different activities. So we hope she will get a really good neight again. The best would it be if she will be able to sleep without additional sleep medicine. Cause these medicine works until the next day about the lunch time. Presently Puschel is able a little bit better to use her eyes... Reading is still laboringly for her even more to write letters, emails etc. But we want to giver her a bigger screen for her computer as soon as possible. So we hope she will get able to use her computer again. May be anybody will get an answer of mails... Thank to all those have written mails or other letters although nowbody could awaite an answer.
We´re excited how it will go on - and of course also hopefull...
07th of January 2012
We had again an eventful day here in Bülow... How good that Puschel was able to sleep really good at the last night... At forenoon Puschels friend Myriam from presently Canada came with her husband Daniel and Puschels godchild Pia for tha last visit. They said good bye ant afternnon for the next few month. In the next week they will start the last step of a culture and misson training. They´re prepairing for the coming work in “LaCasa de mi Padre” in El Salvador.
At the midday time Puschel got e really special visit again: Dr. Siems came for looking at Puschels complete status, not only by phone.
He came with Anna, a young woman who had a very hard accidentz with her car and got by this really hard wounds. She is glad and thankfull like Puschel for a doctor who see visibly his profession as an appointiveness and not only as a profession. You it was a special visit and we want to pray for Anna that she will get a goos recovering and a good perspektive for the future. Thank you if you will pray for her with us and stay in prayer for Puschel.
06th of January 2012
As you know every day has its own challenge. It was very nice that Puschel got lots of visitations and she still get. Yesterday night she did not come to rest, because her leg caused problems. At the moment it’s less strongly than it has been before, yet it’s strong enough so that Puschel was very affected by it and in the end we did not really find a possibilty to do something against it. It took us until around 2:30 AM when Puschel really fell asleep... and so again and again it’s different than what we hoped or expected. Nevertheless, comparatively everything is very good at the moment. We never should forget how sick she really is and how she was doing three or 7 or all the more 12 or 14 weeks ago... Since yesterday she is at home for 10 weeks now. And so we further want to be thankful for every new day.
05th of January 2012
There is really a lot of fun for Puschel these days. Because today in addition to the visitors this week her godmother Liesel came for a one-day visit, whom she saw last time in steady narcosis in the hospital of Güstrow and also her cousin Maria with her brother Jakob (they are all from Vogtland). So she had a “full-house” for lunch, lots of fun and much to tell. You can see it in the pictures: Puschel has been a few times in the kitchen to eat. That causes problems, because her legs hurt through the different positioning and troublesome motions, but that’s worth it for her - and for us, too. After that she is usually so knocked out that she can sleep well. However, now she is in her room, watching a movie again with the girls from South Germany. She can sleep afterwards...
You can see she’s doing better and better. But of course in between we have to give her a drip against the pains or the nausea or sometimes a painkiller-bolus. But all in all we’re very grateful for the time, which God gives Puschel and also us with her.
04th of January 2012
Of course it’s always good if one has a lot to do, but sometimes you have to be encouraged to be active. So we are happy at the moment that Puschel has a lot of visitors. Shortly before Christmas we had to write Ellis from Holland that it is to much for Puschel if she would come... now things are totally different. Of course we have to keep in mind that Puschel is seriously ill and she needs caring all the time. For instance one have to carry her into the bathtub and back to her bed, so she needs always somebody to help her. But all of this is much easier if she is awake and attentive and if she can experience and enjoy the days completely. And of course she enjoys it if her little Pia takes a bath together with her...! That was fun for all parties. And that the girls are sitting at her bed now, watching a movie, helps her to sleep good later and it helps us to work a little bit by the way...!
03th of January 2012
There was a lot action for Puschel today:
In the night her friends Eva & Judith with Tina, a friend of them, arrived. As you know they are from South Germany and not unknown any more at our house. You can see them at the right picture above together with Puschel and Eva-Maria.
Right after her midday break a very special person woke Puschel up from her nap: her Godchild Pia, who came from Canada for this Christmas season with her parents Myriam and Daniel. Puschel did not recognize Pia in the beginning, because she was so sleepy and because Pia was not the little baby from the summer anymore, but a super tiny and autonomously running around young lady... it was an intense joy again... and so Puschel was kept in suspense today... The great thing is that she can realize and experience everything very awake and direct at the moment. That’s everything else but not taken for granted after the last weeks and it’s a real gift!
02th of January 2012
Today the things are a little bit better again! Puschel has been awake and activ for the whole day, except the nap at the lunch time. But after that we did a walk together with the bif wheelchair so far like never before since we´re using these wheelchair again. Earlier we did a walk very often to Schorssow (about 3 km). Today it was nearly the same distance. So all in all it was a distance of about 5 km... Is that nothing? On the way Puschel visited an old woman friend in Bülow. In the summer she walked there by herself. Mrs. Scheel was really lucky for our ringing her out...
After that she had her physiotherapy again, now on her shedule is only watching a movie. So little by ittle sh is better able to read the more bigger letters. The pain killers we could reduce more and the pain in her legs is reduced too, also the strong nausea.
Like you see: All in all really still a betterment
01th of January 2012
The first day of these year had going all in all very fine. Puschel slept good at night before. Today she could be with us in our Newyear-Sunday-Service on TV in our living room. The pain and also the nausea wasn´t a problem today. In the background it is there bur presently not a problem. So we want to be still thankfull knowing that every good days are not really obviously. We´re knowing too that it can be alltimes completely different.
We´re sure that God has all the days of the new year in HIS hands like He held also every day of the last year!
The new Bible vers of the year 2012 is from 2. Corinthians 12:9. There Paul said: He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”said:
A postcard with these vers and a picture of Puschel we gave as a gift to the visitos in our church service.
If anybody want to have some of these cards please write a short letter.
God bless you in the New Year! And thankyou again for all your love and support!
My life is in your hands!
You don’t have to worry And don’t you be afraid. Joy comes in the morning, Troubles they don’t last always. For there’s a friend named Jesus Who will wipe your tears away. And if your heart is broken,
Just lift your hands and say:
Oh, I know that I can make it, I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands! With Jesus I can take it, with Him I know I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands.
So when your tests and trials They seem to get you down, And all your friends and loved ones Are nowhere to be found. Remember there’s a friend named Jesus Who will wipe your tears away. And if your heart is broken, Just lift your hands and say:
Oh, I know that I can make it, I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands! With Jesus I can take it, with Him I know I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands.
Glad to know, that I know, that I know My life is in your hand. When I’m on a mountain top I may be down in the valley No matter what I’m going true My life is in your hand.
That’s why I love you Jesus, You mean everything to me
My life is in your hands.
