Puschels passion:
 
http://www.mfh-elsalvador.org

08th of January 2011

It was really a shock, especially for Puschel, when her bigger brother Titus got the accident and suddenly was found in the special hospital in Lübeck. How good to know that HE has all things in HIS hands!

Puschel wanted to go down into the Southern Germany with Heinz Spindler (He was with his wife Ute here in Bülow for 3 days) to visit her friends there. The possibility was good. But her cold was too strong, her lungs were not okay. Yesterday when Spindlers had to leave the cold in Puschels body was away but she had stronger problems with her skin on the feeds. It is a side effect of the chemo therapy. So Puschel had to get out these plan/desire. Often before she had to give away her desires. So it wasn´t a drama now. But she isn´t able to know how long it will be possible to do such things in view of her condition in power and energy. She is feeling more and more the side effects of these chemo therapy. So we hope and pray that there will be not only side effects but also effects and ggod results of these. God is able to do that. so we will ask HIM enduring for that. Thank you that are doing that with us!!

 

16th of January 2011

In the middle of the next week Puschel will get the next step of chemo therapy in Berlin. The questin to God is again that these will have some results. Until now it was alltimes not really sure. It´s really bad to don´t know if it´s working or not. It´s still clear that only a great miracle is abble to  heal Puschel.

But we can know that HE is able tot do that. And if HE don´t want to do it or to do it in another way so we know that HE will have another finish. InHIM we want to trust. Thank you for doing that with us.

Puschel is getting now some different medicine for taking away the side effects of the chemo therapy. God has that in his hands too. So every single day has his own questions and plagues and asks to God - and also his own joy!

Right now Puschel has a visit of Rebecca a friend from Southern Germany. It´s a good time for both.

 

21th of January 2011

Now  the next step of the chemo is finished. It was doing well. But Puschel has more and more pain in her left side of the pelvis. It is where the tumor is growing into the hip bone .

We hope so that it will be possible to stop that and also the expansion of the metastasis in the lung.

Please pray with us for good results ot the presently therapies. Otherwise we hope that God will work in a different manner or show us new possibilities. Puschels is still undauntedly. But she is more and more weak by all the pain or  the side effects of the chemo therapy (Skin, blood). The consequence is that the energy is more and more going away you can imagine that.

 

28th of January 2011

Alltimes we are getting some signs of encouragement and the love of Christ. It´s really a great privilege for us.

Puschel is still doing not so well. She has to fight against more pain and by that also against more nausea. But she is not discouraged. She is alltimes doing so many activities arround and outside. Today in the afternoon shewas doing a visit to an older woman in our small village. Puschel has alltimes a special acces to a lot of people, sometimes more than we have.

Today we were asking the doctors in Heildelberg for an information about the possibility of a new term of therapy with heavy ions. We think it could be a good help for the left side of her pelvis. You know that the cancer is infiltrating there the main bone of her pelvis. A year ago it was the best and effective therapy in the right side. We hope so, that the doctors cna imagine that. Would you like to pray for that? We will keep you informed alltimes.

 

01th of February 2011

Now we hope to get a (good) message from Heidelberg in the next few days. We hope too that the chemo therapy is leastwise able to work in Puschels lungs with the metastasis. In about three weeks Puschel has to get the next normal tests (all three month) in Berlin. There she will get the next step of chemo. But first she should get the tests.

It is so good to know that God has alltimes a full set of options, also if we are on the end of medical and human possibilities.

Just now Puschel is doing a little better in view of her nausea and her pain. Today in the morning she said: I feel better since few days - thank you Lord! That to see is nice. So we´re thankfull for each new day what God is giving her/us together. There is not an “all-clear signal” in view of the whole sickness, but for Puschel God has alltimes reasons for her thankfullness. Thank you for your prayer. You see, it´s working, God is working!!

 

13th of February 2011

06th of February 2011

The answer from Heidelberg has come. But it was differnt to our hope. The doctors from Heidelberg are thinking that it isn´t sensfull and possible to give Puschel a heavy ion therapy again. We want to try to get more information about these. But now we have to take it as a finally answer. So we have it not as an option for the future.

Today in our sunday service we were talking about the Majesty and power of God (Jes 40,12-31). So we want to keep that also for Puschel and her whole situation. We have futhermore only less options but God has alltimes options. We want to trust HIM and to pray that HE will take such” option card”. HE is able to help Puschel without chemo therapy or other madical and technical support.

Furthermore each single day with all seperate burdens is a new challenge and also a gift for Puschel and for us. Thank you that you are beside Puschel with your prayer!

 

18th of February 2011

Today it´s necessary to give you some more pictures. So you can get an impression of Puschels presently big business. It´s the time for some newborn babies...

As you know we had two days in Berlin. On Wednesday we had an appointment with a special oncologist for children to get informations about a very new kind of cell therapies. But that´s not a good option for Puschel, becaus of her very hard  kind of cancer. But the doctor want s to makes some connecions to other cancer specialists for young people. God has alltimes options. He is able to open new ways. And he is hearing our prayer! Yesterday we were in Berlin for MRI, CT and other tests. Will get the results of that later and will let you know that so soon as possible. After that we have to decide how it can go

 

19th of February 2011

The doctor started the call for giving us the test results today with the  sentence: “I haven´t good  news for you”. And in fact - the results are not encouraging. The chemo was not able to block the growing up of the metastasis in the lung and the tumor in Puschels pelvis.

So it means that we have presently none medical options. And although the doctors doesn´t articulate that - we know that we´re now more than ever before completely in Gods hands. We´ve no others than trusting in HIM. Only HIS hand and a miracle of God is able to give Puschel an earthly perspective.

We know that HE is able to speek one word and Puschel will get healthy. We want to ask HIM for these one word! He wants to hear our prayer.

Presently the doctors doesn´t want to give Puschel more chemo therapy. May be now is the time for God to show us that HE is the Lord of all things.

Thank you for all your prayer. It´s still encouraging for Puschel and for us!

More below you see the yesterday entry.

 

01th of March 2011

At the last days we tried to get a new step of the heavy ion therapy for the new tumor areas in Puschels pelvis. But the doctors in Heidelberg are more convinced that it would make more damages than good results.

So now is a time we hav nothing in our hands! Only we know that God has all things in HIS hands!

For the next time we hope to relieve Puschels pain what is more and more growing up. For God it isn´t a problem to take away all pain. We want to trust HIM and to do what we can do. We enjoy to do that!

Now Puschel has allmost problems at the night. Sometimes she is waking up our by our. Then she is walking around to try to sleep again and again. It´s not the best basis for the next day you can imagine that.

It would be great if you will pray for a good and enduring medication for Puschel. We are glad for each single day when Puschel is able to participate in the normal life around. Furthermore we would like to see that Puschel will never be depressed or hopeless but furthermore can enjoy in the Lord and the life. To see that all times in the past is a great result of all prayer for Puschel and for us! So we want to praise the Lord and give thanks to you so much!

 

07th of March 2011

Presently we havn´t to report so much. Today Puschel was walking up and down because of her pain. She said to me: I´m so thankfull that it´s not longer so bad like at the last week... Puschel is alltimes thankfull and also contently (may be better: peacefull). And it is really a reason to be thankfull in God to see how He was giving alltimes peace. Isn´t that a result of all the prayers? God promised these peace. And we can see His peace!

Nice that Puschel got a lot of visits by her friends at the last month. At last came friend Eva with her sister Judith from Southern Germany.

In our next report we will tell you about Puschels youngest young of her chinchilla house...

Alltimes Puschel is on the way in our village. She wants to visit the old people in our village to give them encouragement and joy. The presently very nice weather is a reason too for going out and staying or walking with her little horse.

 

10th of March 2011

For tomorrow (04:15 p.m.) we got an appointment in a special clinikum in Rostock. There Puschel has a theoretical chance to get a noticeable exoneration in view of her very strong pain in her nervs. These pain is caused direkt by the tumor. Now ther is the possibilyit to give Puschel a painkiller medicine direct into the root of the nerv. It is an injection under a live CT picture. - very precise and for possibly 4 weeks.

The problem for Puschel is the bad location of the tumor. It´s not sure to can find the nerv behind the tumor.

So we hope you will pray with us for a good practicle and nor only theoretical possibility.

Normally you have a chence for such appointment after different month but not after three days... God is able!! It would be for Puschel a really big thing to have a lot less pain and can live for the next time with much less painkiller medicine.

 

13th of March 2011

Now some of you are waiting for news about our appointment in Rostock. We were there at the last week (10.3.) in a really good talk with a competent neurosurgeon who wants to do what is possible to help Puschel for the next time with her pain.

But now it was necessary to get a new MRI of the lumbar spine. It was our term to get it so soon as possible. But that was not so easy here in Northern Germany. We had a receipt for getting it faster but it isn´t possible in the next 10 days. So God had HIS own solution for us: a friend who is a head doctor in a hospital in the near of us was able to make us an appointment for a MRI three ours later...! only 50km far away. So we have these pictures and we can call the doctors in Rostock again tomorrow in the morning. We hope to can get these therapy soon.

We will let you know the development soon.

 

14th of March 2011

Now we have an appointment again in Rostock for tommorow in the morning (15.3., 8:00 a.m.).  How long it will endure - we don´t know. With God´s help we got a necessary test with a MRI very fast. So we hope and pray that the pain-therapeutic injection will go allready tomorrow. And we hope for good results of tha “operationt. So Puschel could live with less pain killers in the next future.

Thank you that you´re praying with us and looking here again and again!

 

16th of March 2011

After some additional clarifications Puschel got yesterday these pain killer injection direct into the root of the nerv a little bit over the tumor. So we hope that the medicine will start to work in the next days.

Puschel got a recommendation for a pain therapeutic practice. The problem was that you can get an appointment only after about 30 dayw or later. Allready in the second attempt we could explain Puschels situation and got an appointment for the next monday (21.3.). So Puschel can get a new adjust of the pain killers after thes injection. God is great...!

Puschel got a recommendation too for a great specialist in Southern Germany to make clear if there will be possible a new surgery. These surgery should give a real exoneration in Puschels pelvis. We pray that God will show clearly what will be good for Puschel and give us a good connection to these Prof and also good decisions for Puschel.

 

26th of March 2011

Presently we haven´t really news for you. We´re not able to say if the injection into the nerv is working. It needs more time. But Puschel is doing pretty well now. So we´re glad and thankfull for every day. Thank you for praying for Puschel. Thats the best support for her and for us!

21th of March 2011

Today we had a good appointment in the pain therapy in Rostock. We hope really that Puschel will get a better adjustment for pain killers. We are very thankfull to get these appointment. There was a really understanding doctor. Thank you Lord!

20th of March 2011

Tomorrow we have the first appointment for a pain therapy in Rostock. We hope really that Puschel will get a betteradjustment for pain killers. We are very thankfull to get these appointment

 

first of April 2011

At the moment Puschel is using a lot of pain killer medicine. Nobody of us would be able to use such quantity of these medicine. The problem is that Puschels body will get “immun” against these. The receptors for pain will get unable to react on the pain killer. So the doctor changed the medication and we hope Puschel will  be able to handle that.

At the moment we try to get an counselling appointment with the professor in Southern Germany. We want to get an oppinion for a possibly surgery. Please pray with us to  be able to make the right decisions.

 

5th of April 2011

Puschel is very glad to have the chance for a travel allone(!) to her friend and family in Southern Germany. There she wil become a godmother official. So she can be there for some days with her very very sweet little worm and all her freinds there. For Puschel and for us too is every day an aditional gift of God. All these things are in His hands. He knows how long He will let stay Puschel on the earth. Now Puschel is still able to do such rides, so it´s good to do that so long as possible. And: God is able to make miracles in our world.

Abif thank to all those giving Puschel again and again signals of prayer and thinking of her.

Yesterday Puschel got the second pain killer injection direct into the nerv. It seems that it will really work.

 

10th of April 2011

Puschel has a really good time in Southern Germany. But she has also more and more problems with her nerv. The tumor is pressing everytime more on the nerv. Now she has pronlems again with sitting.

Plesa pray with us for that. God is able for a miracle. It would be very bad to see more and more pain and problems with the whole situation.

at the next time Puschel has to make a decision. The professor in Southern Germany gave her a recommendation to get a radical surgery. But the result of these surgery is very unsure. Not sure to can eliminate the cancer but sure to be paralysedin the future and to lose some functions of the body. But the alternativ is to wait for working of the cancer.

Please pray for wisdom and clearness for the next weeks.

 

18th of April 2011

Puschel is glad to be back home again. It was a very good but also strenuously (although she doesn´t want to concede that...) trip. Meanwhile Puschel is not able to sit a while. For a meal she must stay mostly or to lay in her long wheelchair.

Now she has somtimes failures in feeling her hands. So she has more problems to write letters or emails. We don´t know how it will going on. We will let you know all news about.

At the last time it was happen a lot here in Bülow. On the trip back home Puschel had an interview appointment at a christian radio station. There they have a radio program with Puschel onTthursday, 21th of April (www.erf.de)

After that Puschel could get her long awaited little dog (called “Grace”) from Dresden. You can identified him in the picture above...

 

24th of April 2011

We are still waiting for an answer and an appointment from the professor in Southern Germany. Only after that we´re able to make a dicision in view of a surgery. But a reaction form there is not possible before Thuesday or Wednesday. We will let you know all news.

At the moment Puschel is doing better with herpain in the nerve than a week ago. She is still unable to sit. At the night she is laying allmost on her abdomen. But at the last days she can lay more and more on the back. Often she is staying with her cruches for a longer time. Today sh was doing that for the whole Easter sunday service in our church. It is good to see that Puschel is still not giving up to be in the normal felloship in our family and church. Thank you so much for all your prayer!! A short time ago she got also an anonymand also not anonym  financial supports from some of you. We can only say: God bless you all! Thank you so much for all your love!

 

27th of April 2011

Tomorrow we will have the appointment for tests in Berlin (MRI, CT and others). These are the normal three-monthly tests. So we will look for hopefully good results...

At the oment Puschel is doing better. She is still not able to sit but it is more relaxedly. Puschel was able to reduce the pain killer medicin a little bit.

 

29th of April 2011

We haven´t still results of the tests in Berlin. But it seems that the cancer cells are more solid than before, so also in the lungs. Puschel hasn´t problems directly by the cancer cells. But they are still able to make a very hard pressure onto the nervs in Puschels left leg. So we will have an appointment with specialists in a university hospital in Rostock. They want to find out wich nerv is mostly pressed by the tumor and is making the lot of pain. May be thay can work against the pain better by this way.

We hope to get a message from the doctor in Southern Germany in the next days.

We will let you know all news we have.

 

04th of May 2011

Some days ago we were in Rostock with a special anesthesia doctor. The question is wich nerv have the hardest stress and how Puschel can use her pain killer more effectiv. We got some good impulses. But now we have to go again to the specialists for neurosurgeon. There we hope to get an answer for these question. Additional Puschel will get an injection into her main nerv (sciatica) in the left leg for appeasement.

Tomorrow you could hear an interview with Puschel (only in german language) in a christian German broadcast station (ERF).

 

10th of May 2011

Tomorrow we have an appointment in the pain therapy center of the neurosurgeons. Puschel will get the third injection into the root of her nervs. We hope it will help to minimize her pain there. On thursday we will go to the normal pain therapy in Rostock too and additional with the doctor of naturopathy. The pain therapy is only a work against symptoms. But there hopefully we can delimitate the tumor to grow. That isn´t achancwe for the normal medicine. But God is able to help by different ways, may be also by his own word.

It is incredable to see that you are still in praying for Puschel! That´s the best work to do for her and for all those are close to Puschel, family and friends or other people those are visiting her .

 

16th of May 2011

At the moment Puschel is doing a little better. She is trying somtimes to sit for a few minutes on her desktop and to write somethings. And also she is walking some steps with ehr little dog Grace. We hope that the pain therapy will have a good success and give her more relaxation time thanshe had at the last time. Our appointments with the doctors were good. How it can go on at the future isn´t still clear. But we will trust in out Lord because He is knowing the right way. We´re still waiting for an answer from the doctor in Southern Germany in view of a possibly surgery.We will stay in prayer to the Lord for showing us the right steps and leading us good. Puschel has a lot of joy with Grace. Thats an additional reason for thankfullness and a nice encouragement.

 

24th of May 2011

Sometimes at the last weeks Puschel was able to walk down to our lake. It is allways a very hard think for her somtimes she is overstrained with this, but she wants to try it ever and ever. At the last days Puschels pain was growing more and more. But she is going ahead undauntedly...

At the next days we´re awaiting an appointment (may be for the next week) with the Professor in Karlsbad (close to Karlsruhe) to find out possibilities for a surgery. If it can be an option for Puschel is complete unclear. But it would be great if you will pray for these question.

 

28th of May 2011

For today Puschel invited some elders of faith, to pray with her and for her in view of Jacobus 5:13-16 and to anoint her. God´s promises to hear our prayer and give us some good things if we´re praying seriously is really a big gift of God for us, especially for Puschel in her presently situation.

Therefore it´s an amazing gift for us that so many of you are still praying for her and for us since a long time. A short time ago Puschel got a little sheet from a church in America. They wanted to give Puschel an evident sign of their intensiv prayer for healing.

So we know that we´re staying in unity with a lot of brothers and sisters in the whole world. Not to enforce God to do our will. But we´re allowed to ask and to harass HIM (Luc 11:5-10). He enjoy to see that we´re praying hard and heartily and very trustful, because HE is really trustworthily. HIS power is boundlessly, HIS overview and His knowingness too. So we can be sure that His thoughts and ways are higher than ours (Jes 55,8+9). Puschel said ever and ever: I know that HIS way and His plan is perfect-

We thank you all for your praying and trusting with us! Apropos, today prayed with us a friend, the retired Pastor Sigurd Havemann. About his sickness of cancer we reported some month ago. Presently he is doing right well, but not healthfully.

I´m sure that God heard all our and your prayer. He gave Puschel and us all healing and power and trust and faith to Him. His name we want to praise.

And also if His thoughts are often different to ours we are allowed to ask Him again and again. His blessings are alltimes visibly for us.

 

13th of June 2011

Until now the injection from the doctors in Rostock against the pain doesn´t work. The doctor tried to give Puschel a more intensiv medicine... May he didn´t hit the nerv? May be - we doesn´t know that.

The professor from Karlsruhe is presently connected with the oncologists in Berlin. He wants to make a consilium in view of a possibly surgery. But we can guess that the oncologists will not approve that. A surgery would have a lot of additional risks. And a good result in view of a better situation for Puschel is more than unsure.

Our Lord is knowing that.

In these year Puschel was unable to go with our youthgroup to the Youth Pentecost Meeting in Southern Germany. It´s an additional step back for her. But it´s not  a discouragement for Puschel. She is still trustfull to our Lord. In the meantime a friend of Puschel from Southern Germany is also not in the youth meeting but visiting her at home

 

21th of June 2011

For us it´s incredible and encouraging to get some signals from you all that your are still looking here to get information about Puschels status and to pray for her. So big thank for that!.

I´m so sorry that you could read here  only less news at the last weeks.

The reason for that is first my own work in our church and arround. But the other  thing is that we have not really news about Puschel.

Puschel is doing not good at the last weeks. You read it here before. So I doesn´t wanted to give you the same bad news everytime.

Puschel is still doing  more and more bad. The big problem is really only the pain in her sciatic nerve. Puschel hasn´t a possibility to take that away. The last injections into the nerv doesn´t work enough. So Puschel has to balancing it with more medicine (morphin). But that included more and more tiredness. So she is not able to participate in the normal life.

Presently we didn´t know what we can do for her. We have running several requests to doctors. You know about that to the professor in Karlsruhe in view on a possibly surgery. Additional we asked another professor for a new radiation with heavy ions (only for exoneration of the nerv). The third is to give the injections into the nerv more intensity or another kind of medicine. We hope to can reduce Puschels pressure of the nerv in any way. As unprofessionals it seems us that a new limited heavy ions radiation could be a good way for that. But the doctors there doesn´t wanted to give her that because they are  concerned about too much damages beside. But we´re thinking that possibly damages are better than all these pain.

Please pray for a effectfull medication for the injections and for a good and adjusted kind of treatment. May God lead the thoughts of the doctors and give them preparedness for thinking moreover the normal ways.

We´re very thankfull to our God for every day  Puschel is able to live a  normal life in  normal surroundings. God gave that ever and ever. Thank you Lord!

 

1th of July 2011

Today we got news for a possibly heavy ion therapy from a doctor in Berlin. It´s a doctor who is moved in the last time from Heidelberg to Berlin. In Heidelberg she was the first doctor for Puschels radiation treatment.

Now she arranged an appointment with the chief doctor of the heavy ions center in Heidelberg. So Puschel has to make first an MRI. Than the doctors in Heidelberg wants to make sure that a palliative radiation is possible. An exact schedule we will get on Monday.

Please pray for willingness of the doctors to try these treatment. In all cases we will let you know all news about. Puschel needs a significant exoneration.

So God is able to give that. For HIM is nothing impossible! That we know, and for that we pray!

 

10th of July 2011

On Monday (18.7.) we will have the next appointment for an MRI in Berlin. So they can get the informations to decide about the opportunities for a treatment with heavy ions in Heidelberg. We hope a lot that it will really get possible soon. Possibly by these way Puschel could get asignificant  reduction of her pain.

More than a reduction will not be possible but that would be a allready great thing in view of her presently situation. However all these things are in the hands of our Lord. Therefore we will pray that God will furthermore make it gracefull. So it would be great if you will pray for that with us.

Puschel is furthermore not really able to write any emails to you - also if you wrote to her any mails or messages. But Puschel is glad alltimes to get some letters or other news from you.

So many thanks to you for all your blessing to Puschel all the time!

 

16th of July 2011

Yesterday Puschel had to go again in a hospital. She had an infection area in her reight elbow. That became a big bump or swelling. So it could become a dangerous thing for her in view of her whole situation.

Good that Puschel had to go there (in the hospital) only for some hours. All things there went well. The wound is looking good after changing the bandage.

At the moment Puschel is able to handle good all things. But we hope for good tests on Monday in Berlin. May it give the possibility for a new treatment in Heidelberg.

Thank you for all your prayer and staying with Puschel!!

 

19th of July 2011

Some of you are surely waiting for news about the results of the MRI in Berlin from yesterday. But we´re not able to give you that. The things yesterday went well. Now we hav to wait for a statement of the doctors in Heidelberg in view of a new radiation treatment with heavy ions. We guess that they will not recommend that. In these case we will have to dicide that with our own risk. It seems that the biggest risk is an infection or an overreaction of the bones. So Puschel could more pain than before.

But we hope first that the doctors will see  a opportunity in these radiation. To decide it will be the second step.

So today Puschel got a call from the radiation clinic about the MRI. The doctor gave her the information that a bone in Puschels hipp was broken. They said she had to be more carefull to walk (that was allready very dificult for Puschel). We hope to get more informations about that from the orthpedic docters in the next days.Some of you are surely waiting for news about the results of the MRI in Berlin from yesterday. But we´re not able to give you that. The things yesterday went well. Now we hav to wait for a statement of the doctors in Heidelberg in view of a new radiation treatment with heavy ions. We guess that they will not recommend that. In these case we will have to dicide that with our own risk. It seems that the biggest risk is an infection or an overreaction of the bones. So Puschel could more pain than before.

But we hope first that the doctors will see  a opportunity in these radiation. To decide it will be the second step.

So today Puschel got a call from the radiation clinic about the MRI. The doctor gave her the information that a bone in Puschels hipp was broken. They said she had to be more carefull to walk (that was allready very dificult for Puschel). We hope to get more informations about that from the orthpedic docters in the next days.

 

21th of July 2011

Last time we gave you not really good news about Puschels bones in tha hipp. But today we got new news about that. Another doctor (an orthopedic doctor) said that the bone wasn´t broken. It seem that there are necrotic parts of the hipp bones. It´s a dying process in the bones but it´s in the beginning. All in all it is not a better message because it could get a bigger problem in the future if we would do nothing against that.

At the moment it is better for Puschel. So she is better able to walk. Presently Puschel needs her right leg(actually the problem leg in the past)  more than the left leg.

So all things are still in Gods hands. We will look at another time what we can do with that. As an example the doctors could drill into the bone to bring that to build new cells and structures. However we will take these things from the Lords hands and pray that He will make it good.

The actually good news from today is that the tumor hasn´t grow up significant at the last time!

So we will contrentrate at now for reducing the pressure at the nerv (may be by heavy ions?)

May God give the doctors the right dicision for that. Thank you for praying with us for that!

 

29th of July 2011

Yesterday Puschel got in Rostock the next injection into her nerv. The last one about 4 weeks ago worked muchbetter than before.

The neurosurgeon saw the reason for the necrosis of her bone in th hipp in a medicine what Puschel got a long time. It´s medicin with cortison.

So yesterday Puschel got  only an injection with pain killers.

Also we hope that the presently injection will work like the last one.

It was really nice to could have a day with very nice weather. So we were able to go together to the beach of Warnemünde at the Baltic Sea.

It was not so easy for Puschel to walk along the beach. But you know Puschel, you know that she loves challenges. For her it was a very good day.

Now we´re still waiting  for news from Heidelberg for new possibilities, you know about. Thank you for still praying for Puschel. God bless you

 

08th of August 2011

Sorry, we have no news for you! We´re waiting all days for a message from Heidelberg or Berlin. Puschel is still doing like before. That´s not good in view of using a lot of pain killers. But it means too that she is doing not more bad.

Her  sorrow is that she is still not able to answer your emails. From some of you she got other greetings or gifts and signs of your love. Have so many thanks for that. It is a great encouragement for her. But she is really so sorry to can not answer or say thank for that!

At the moment it happens a lot here at home. Now we have here the yearly music camp for young people.

Today Puschel got a visit from a friend from Idaho, USA. Thomas Tanner is on the ways back home from Latvia over Germany and Switzerland.

Have thanks for all your signs of love and trust to our Lord. And so thanks for all your prayer.

Today we got a message about a little boy who Puschel got to know in Heidelberg. Maximilian this little friend had a very hard caner in his head. He is now in the eternity with our Lord. God bless his family. If you have time for that please pray for them for confidence and trust. Thank you!

 

15th of August 2011

So today we got the long awaited eMail from Heidelberg. Now we have there an appointment for the 25th of August. There we will have a planning time for th radiation, probably in the beginning of September.

We are really hopefull that it will be possible there to do that in an individual manner for Puschel, depend of her needs. We hope that they are willing to give Puschel only a radiation with heavy ions and not again with photons like in the last term. Really working was only the heavy ion radiation.

At the last time Puschel has more and more problems to handle her pain with the presently possibilities with morphin and other medicine for her nervs. Although the tumor didn´t grow at the last time it seems that the nerv gets mor and more damages. Puschel lost  every time more feeling in her left foot too. And the anasarca in her leg isn´t still better. Her lymphatic system has problems because of the pressure from the tumor.

Thank you so much again for still praying for Puschel and for all kind of encouragement. You are doing that for so long time... God bless you all!

 

24th of August 2011

Tomorrow we will start to Heidelberg. We hope it will be really a planning date for the radiation and not more an asking date. Hope the radiation will start in the beginning of September.

Three days ago we were in Waren for getting CT pictures rom Puschels lungs and pelvis. The metastasis in the lungs are not smaller but a little bigger. But presently more important was the information from the radiologist that not only the main bone in the right hipp has a necrose but aditional the main bone in the left hipp was broken completely.

So we have not to be longer surprised about Puschels extreme pain in the last week. The pain attacks were growing constantly at the last few days extremely. So we´re not longer able to know how we can help Puschel without an absolutely extrem dosis of morphins. These presently gigantic dosis has a lot of side effects too. And the question is how she can handle these situation. She is not really able to sleep peacefull because she has these pain in laying down too. So she has to stand up again and again, also at the night in different times.

Thank you so much for praying for her!!

 

30th of August 2011

Now the first destiny is the 6th of September. We´re hopefull to get all permission for that.

Now we have tolook for a little apartment in Heidelberg or arround where Puschel can stay for these about 4 weeks (with one of us parents and possibly the little Grace too...).

Please pray for that we will find the right possibility for Puschel for these whole time. We will need some special things like handicap surroundings etc. At the home of the friends from the last year ti is not so good because there are two stairs to the room for Puschel... It would be possible too at the hospital for Puschel to stay there for the whole time. But you can imagine that these should be the last choice... So we hope that Puschels insurance will take on the costs for that all. The hospital staying would be much more expensive for them

On the week end Puschel was doing much better than before in view on the whole pain situation. We don´t know why but it was a good experience for Puschel. Unfortunately today it is not so good again. So we will still pray that she has more exoneration again and than really impotant help by the heavy ions therapy.

 

04th of September 2011

From some friends we got recommendation for an apartment. It is really hard to get it inso a short time in a students town like Heidelberg.

Now we have an apartment for the next days. So we can look for possibilities for the next time.

Now we have the problem that our health insurance gave still not a promise to us or the hospital in Heidelberg for the whole treatment. On thuesday the radiation should start. Tomorrow the professor wants to call the insurance and to give us the ok for our start to Heidelberg - leastwise we have to drive more than 800 km...

Today Puschel felt -  the first time since a lot of month - no pain in her nerv. She could sit in our church sinday service the whole time and also at the coffee time after the service. Only her normal bones painwas there but that is allready a good easement. That´s really a reason for giving thanks to our Lord

Thank you for staying with us at the next days. We will keep you informed.

 

07th of September 2011

On Monday in the morning the hospital called us to say that we should come in every cases. They want to start the radiationalso if the insurance wouldn´t give her ok at these time - in her own risk...

So we started on Monday at lunch time. Now I´m back home again (23:00 p.m) and Puschel got the second term of redaiation, tomorrow the third about 18:00 p.m.

There will follow 11 steps too.

So we´re really thankfull for all. A special gift is that Puschel has right now significant less pain. So it is good to handle with all exertions also with the stairs in the apartment. These is directly in the centre of Heidelberg. That´s good to can reach the hospital and other needs.

All in all we´re very thankfull and trustfull in our Lord that He will give blessings to Puschel and an evident easement for her whole situation. HE ist able! Thenk you for thinking and praying for Puschel!!!

 

12th of September 2011

Now Puschel has over the first week of these radiation. That´s nearly the halftime of the whole radiation.

Til now the whole treatment time went well. Puschel is doing really well in view on the circumstances. She needs still a lot of painkillers. But with that she is doing well amazingly since about 8 days. She is struggeling the stairs up to the apartment where she is living slowly but really good.

It is a a little miracle that she is doing so well right now at theses time. We´re very thankfull for that. So we hope that the radiation will give her an aditional significant exoneration. So many thanks for all your prayers. Some of you supported Puschel financially too in the payment of her apartment in Heidelberg etc. Many many thanks for all. God bless you and give it back to you!!

 

22th of September 2011 02:30 Uhr

Right now we arrived our home from Heidelberg. We had a good last step of radiation and a last talk with the doctors. After that we started so soon as possible. Now we´re glad to be back home. But Puschel isn´t doing well right now. Sh has a lot of pain in her head. So we´re not sure what we can do. May ba she had too less water on the trip because it is every time a problem with toilettes on the way. Possibly we have to give her a drop with water this night. So we have to wait and so I have time to write these news. In Heidelberg we had a problem with Internet. so I will use these time for giving you the newest news...

We´re hopefull that Puschel will rest enough and sleep well at these neight.

And we hope that the whole radiation will help her against her whole pain without many side effects.

We thank you all so much for all your support in prayer in all these days. Thanks too far all signals and signs of these support! We will keep you informed about all. God bless you!

 

22th of September 2011 08:30 Uhr

The last news from the night (look below) are right now completely out-of-date. You can see that by the pictures below. Puschel is right now in an emergency car with blue flasching light on the way into the next bigger hospital. In the morning she had growing fever and was not accostable. So we had not another choice than call the 112. A doctor on call came very fast with an helicopter  and a  car. So Puschel is with Eva-Maria on the way to Güstrow. We hope they will find out soon what the reason is for that fever and her suddenly problems. Please pray for the doctors to find it out and to make the right decisions. Pray too for Eva-Martia to can be peacefully and be able to help the doctors with all backgrounds in medications and others. I will follow them now... Will keep you informed!

 

22th of September 2011 22:30 Uhr

A lot of you are still waiting for news about Puschels presently situation. We´re just now back from the hospital. As you see by the pictures is Puschel in an intensive medical care point again. And again it is a really serious situation. We´re not able to tell what end we will see.

By a puncturing into the marrow the doctors could see soon that Puschel got a bacterial meningitis. So they could define the bacterium and start directly a therapy against that. So we can wait for the end of the bacterium soon, may be tomorrow. But what results it will have in the future for Puschels brain functions is absolutely not clear. So there starts our hope  and concern and prayer. So many thanks that you are stayin with us in that.

Clear that we want to stay with Puschel tomorrow. So we will give you news also tomorrow.

 

23th of September 2011 21:00 Uhr

A short update for all those want to know whats happen with Puschel:

All in all it wasn´t happen so much. But it seems that the antibiotic therapy worked well. The becterial infection is apparently finished. In Puschels blood is these bacterium not longer verifiable. The doctors executed today an additional lumbar puncture to verify these. But presently we haven´t results of that. And also the results of other tests with an MRI or CT from the heat and  thepelvis too  we will get only tomorrow.

Puschel is still not awake. We hope she will come back tomorrow. But the doctors are not unsure about that. For them it is still normal. We´re exiting too for that moment when Puschel will awake because she has nothing pain killers for these two days. How she will realize that at these moment? So many many thanks to you all again for you´ prayer and all your greetings! It´s so amazing and encouraging for us all. And I´m sure Puschel will understand it too!!

 

24th of September 2011 08:30 p.m.

Now I´m back from a long day with Puschel at the hospital. Today in the weekend was enough time to talk with a very friendly woman-doctor and really patiently nurses. So we could work together for a better situation for Puschel. The biggest problem was foreseeable just that time when Puschel will get back her awareness  and when get visible that her whole pain (and painkiller-) situation is completely out of balance. The biggest problem in that is Puschels disability to talk with us.

Today at lunch time we could see and feel that Puschel has a lot of pain. And the painkiller is not enough. Fortunately the doctor was really willing to make unconventionally decisions. So Puschel could get step by step the right dosis of painkillers and could become more and more peacefully. A second Problem was her positioning in her comparable very hard bed in the intensiv care unit. These bed  caused a lot of additional unnecessary pain. It´s not a reproach to the doctors but for Puschel a big problem... Than we could bring some very soft pillows from home to give Puschel a lot more in comfort. Tomorrow she will get a so soft mattress for that bed. In giving Puschel a new position on the soft pillows Puschel talked to me directly because of her big pain...! It was involuntarily but i was...! Patently she is not longer complete unconsciously!!

There was often the question where the infiction of meningitis came from. But we cann´t say that. But we´re really glad that the heavy ions radiation has finished first. If these came in the midlle of radiation they would be ruptured and couldn´t come on the end.

Just now Silas, Puschels little brother came back with his girlfriend Maria from a short visit at night (right now is Titus there with his wife). He told that Puschel spoke direct to the nurse about a presently need... So we´re thankfull and hopefull for Puschel will get back soon a little normality.

And again: So many thanks to you all for all your prayer for Puschel and for us!!! God is hearing all our prayers. HE is there although it seems sometimes different!

 

25th of September 2011 10:30 p.m.

Today I have been with Puschel together with Esther, Puschels little sister for a long time. There was happen a lot again... In the morning the woman-doctor (main doctor) said Puschel couldn´t comunicate because she would stay in a very deep coma... But when we worked together with two nurses for a better and softer postion of Puschels body - Puschel worked and spoke a little with me. I could clen her teeth and wash her mouth. Puschel was able to say where the special pain is in her body. Also at night Puschel spoke with her brother Titus and his wife Gesine. A stuffed animal from her nieces Salome and Hellen she didn´t want to give out of her hands never...

Now is Eva-Maria there for two ours at night.

The neurologist who treated her in the past was very surprisedly for Puschel came out of the coma so soon. In these very extreme infection and with these very hard background-sickness is it a really amazingly progression

Now it is very important that the big swelling in her brain will go back. Important too that Puschel will tolerate all extrem medicine, also the different pain medication. May God give that she can overcome these deepest physical crisis since her cancer diagnosis. Allready right now it is a miracle of God, allthough she isn´t “over the hill” (a German word?). God is able to hold His hands over Puschel still for the next days. He did that til now visibly!

Now if you will say thanks heartly and pray for the next days also heartly so we´re still thankfull to you heartly too!!

 

26th of September 2011 10:30 p.m.

Today it was very important for us that Puschel now when she has back her consciousness can get out a stomach probe (a hospipe through the nose into the stomach). These pipe is responsible for a lot of additional pain right now. It was right for the days of coma. But for Puschel it was more and more arduously and painfull.

In the morning we talked intensiv with the doctors about that. But she doesn´t want to put out these pipe.

But when we came to Puschel later it was out...! It is a great easement for Puschel. Now she has to try to eat and to drink by her mouth...

The whole pain situation is still not optimally. Sometimes Puschel has a lot of different pain. Because of the big problems in her heat is the most important thing to get out the swellings in her brain. So Puschel has to be patient. But it´s not so easy. We have to look for that tomorrow again.

Right now Eva-Maria ist with Puschel again.

Puschel is extremely weak and really really sick!

So it is our prayer that God will give her rest and peace in these situation. We hope that God will give her back a little “normality” soon. He knows allone why He gives Puschel thes burden additional to all other things. May be He will show us His plan in another time.

Thank you again for praying with us!

 

08:00 p.m.

The entry above I wrote today at noon at the hospital direct beside Puschels bed. I had enough time there because we wanted to let sleep Puschel so long as possible after she came in quiet. I asked God different times to touch Puschels body visibly and to hold HIS healing hands over her suffering body. Patently HE did it! Cause at night about 7:00 p.m. when the sister of Eva-Maria came to Psuchel to stay with her for some hours we wanted to give Puschel some food and some medicine if she would be awake. She awoke when the nurse gave Puschel an injection. so now came the time to give her to eat and so on. That was working successfully. And from that point we could talk with Puschel for an whole hour. We could talk about all things what was happen at the last days. She was full oriented allthough she couldn´t experience all things from the last time...

In few words: for us it is really a miracle! I want to be not too euphorically cause we have to calculate that it may be tomorrow more bad again. But i wanted to give you these gladly news and impressions. Just we were together at home in saying thanks to our Lord. HE is able! He is there!

 

27th of September 2011

Today is Puschel not doing really good. With her awareness and her presence is it more bad than yesterday. Patently she has a lot of pain in her nervs, distinctively in her legs. May be that the reason is a very very strong kind of meningitis. It is so strong that the doctors here haven´t seen it since a longer time. Bur that we´re yet knowing   with Puschel everytime... - she is doing all these allways a little bit more extreme... Now we should await that God will also work a little bit extreme... HE is able, we know that, or not? And if He is imposing her all these so we are allowed to await that He will stay constantly to His own word to carry HIS child and to be with Puschel in the darkest ours. He can let feel her His presence (Psalm 23). We´re thankfull for each single really quietly and peacefull hour in that Puschel is able to sleep deeply.

Right now came the master doctor and we could talk about a very new special kind of therapy or special surgery against the metastasis in Puschels lungs. May be I can give you special informations about in another time. But may be that was a “key moment” for the next times if Puschel will be able ever to come out here “healthy”.

Additional we could talk about a special pain therapy direct into the roots of the nervs. That´s not so easy in these precarious situation. Please pray for that possibility. We want to be patience to go step by step. But if you see Puschel here so in her sufferings and you can only stay beside, is that a little bit hard... How good to have you brothers and sisters beside us!!! It´s a great priviledge!

 

28th of September 2011

Patently is so: Puschel is awake again with a normal cognition. She was in action the whole day. She ate and drunk (you can see that by the left picture above).

In the morning there was a big long doctors visitation. May be that Puschel will come to a normal neurologic part of the clinic allready tomorrow.

At night came up again the “normal problematic of pain”. Now it´s necessary to get a new balance for pain killers. That´s not so easy for Puschel because she is still really weak. Thank you for still praying for her!! But in the foreground is out thank to God who carried and helped her through these deep hours!

 

These is my entry from the noon written direct at the hospital beside Puschels bed. But you should definitely read additional the news below...!

 

29th of September 2011

Patently Puschel has overcome the infection of the meningitis unusual fast. For us it´s God´s work. But also the doctors are really surprised.

What they now are not really able to handle is the thing with Puschels pain. She needed before these additional sickness also a lot of painkillers. Now she needs of course some more. But to handle these lot of painkillers is really a problem. It cannot be to take a so astronomical lot of morphin and other pain killers... Usually the patient has breath depressions with these lot of pain killers. But Puschel is using that allready since a long time. Unfortunately Puschel had today a big MRI from her head. That was necessary but not good for the whole pain situation.

On the other side we can understand that the doctors want to be carefull and responsible with these medicine. But if a patient is just back out of the coma is it not necessary that he can rest and sleep good? We know that the doctors want to give Puschel rest. But please pray for them that they will get the right thoughts for Puschel. Please pray that she will be able to rest from the tensions of the last days! Thanks for all to you! And let us give thanks to our Lord togehter for all His help and work!

 

first of October 2011

Now has each day his own problems... So we want to take all days from HIS hands! Today at night  it happens that the access into the venes was not really ok. So it may be that the pain killers couldn´t come through at the last three days..

Than we shouldn´t wondering for the big pain at the last days... However, today Puschel had too much pain again. But all in all Puschel was doing well. Eva-Maria has benn there for the whole day. that was good. Now we hope it will regulate all these things. And we hope that the bacterium of meningitis will go ultimate. And hope that Puschel will recover soon.

30th of September 2011

At the whole noon Puschel was doing really well. But until lunchtime it was complte different. She had a lumbal puntion in the morning (a punction into the spinal column) what was evidently very stressfull.

She got so much pain that it needs a longer time to make her finally nearly painfree.

But after that it was finally really relaxed. We had a great time together with reading letters (letters from some of you) and also watching a movie of her godchild Pia who is presently in Canada.

Now we hope only that Puschel gets rest enough (by getting enough  painkillers). Puschel wants to can go home so soon as possible... In the one side our God  let it be happend but in the other side He carried her through gracefull.  Thank you agai and again for all your prayers and all support!!

 

second of October 2011

Today it was really hard for Puschel in the fight against the big pain. Eva-Maria has been here the whole day. So she had to dispute with the doctor permanently. She was fighting for her daughter to help her for a little easement in small steps. We´re e little bit helpless if the doctors here ar not able to handle these big pain so that Puschel can be painfree for a time. Please pray with us that Puschel can get a better day tomorrow. It is a celebration day for the German Unity. So they have only less doctors here. These doctors are much more anxious to set higher her pain killer dosis. They have so much anxiety for a breath depression. Normally they have people here who had not to handle opiates in her life til now. But Puschel needs usually really a lot... We can only give that in Gods hands. HE is able! Just now (0:30 a.m.) I´m sitting beside Puschels bed and praying thath HE will  do! Now Puschel got a higher dosis - now she is sleeping. She is jerking sometimes but she is sleeping...

 

third of October 2011

Nun haben wir die Feiertag erst einmal so ziemlich überstanden. Hoffen, Puschel kommt jetzt zur Ruhe und kann gut und lange schlafen. Noch sitzen wir hier, und sie ist munterer (22:00 Uhr) als Mancher von uns um diese Zeit... Und dabei haben die Ärzte hier immer Angst, sie würde einschlafen von den Schmerzmitteln und nicht wieder aufwachen...

Am Morgen war zu befürchten, dass sie einen Darmverschluss hätte. Doch das hat sich durch einige Tests nicht bewahrheitet.

Wir hoffen, sie bald nach Hause bekommen zu können. Doch ganz ist die Antibiotika-Therapie noch nicht vorbei. Außerdem sind ihre Entzündungswerte im Blut und auch die Temperatur etwas angestiegen... Ansonsten ist sie ziemlich fit, wenn auch zeitweise im Denken und im Reden etwas durcheinander. Sie braucht einfach die Ruhe und das Umfeld von zu Hause...

 

4th of October 2011

Now it looks like a “showdown”. Today it came to a point on that the infection level in her blood more and more grew up and Puschel pain rose nearly measureless. We´re thinking about picking up her back home tomorrow. Then we could menage the pain killers by ourselves so as Puschels needs that. Tomorrow we want to wait for the results of a lumbar puncture to can exclude (or even not) that the liquor has an infection again. May be the infection is (only) in her lungs. Just now she is getting a different antibiotic than before.

Please simply pray  for Puschel that God may swathe her in His love, in His hands that she will not realize all these struggles (that´s our hope!)

If God will recuperate her so He has alltimes the heavenly possibilities. If He has another way for Puschel (the way home in His kingdom) then she it would be the best place for the last time at home. Please pray for wisdom for  the doctors and also for us to see all things right and to be able for rights decisions. However we want in non cases that Puschel has these torments until her end at the hospital!

 

5th of October 2011

Now you´re surely waiting for new about these day. I want to give that shortly. For us it is a great gift that we haven´t to go through such situations without our Lord and without the prayersupport of so many brothers and sisters in Christ. We got a lot of mails and other signs of your love and know that a lot is only praying for Puschel.

In the background I had the certainness that it is not right possible to make wrong decision if so many people are praying for the right decision (we did that by ourslef too) and if God is initiating the right thoughts.

Now we have the agreement that Puschel will get for the first time enough pain killers for the night. All the night we have anybody beside Puschel!. For tomorrow we are planning to can pickup Puschel back home. The prepairings will start in the morning. Please pray that it will be possible! So I hope really to have her at night here - if God will give grace without dramatic happenings beween. We think that it would be the best for Puschel. God has it in control! Thank you so much for your lave and support in prayer!!

 

6th of October 2011

It’s unbelievable that all of you guys are joining us in this current dramatic situation. We felt very strong that many of you prayed - and God led us. 

Today we are able to say that everything we decided yesterday has been right. I will tell you one after another:

Yesterday it partially looked like it could be the last or second last day for Puschel. To be at home is still the best for her. But since then the situation changed quite a lot, in several aspects:

1. The senior physician of the intensive care unit (ICU) is willing to give Puschel the painkillers she really needs.

2. There is no inflammation, neither in her peritoneal nor in her lung nor anywhere else.

3. Many things could be clarified today.

4. The oncologists from Heidelberg gave us the information that it just could be the tumour which is responsible for the very high CAP-value (a value which indicates an inflammation in one’s blood), even when there is no inflammation. Especially after a radiation this symptoms can occur.

Today we already prepared everything, together with our family physician, to get Puschel back home. Even the portable pump for the painkillers was ready. In the end the quantity of painkillers we would have needed was too much so that they didn't want to let us go...

At the same time the very delicate situation slackened a lot, after a very intense night with an extreme amount of painkillers.

Indeed it didn’t look that good this evening, but then some new ideas arise: Puschel could be seconded to a palliative ward or an oncological ward of the university hospital of Rostock.

Exactly this is the point now. Tomorrow morning I will hold talks in Rostock and we will discuss and clarify the situation. If everything goes well Puschel could be seconded already tomorrow to Rostock. If the things would pacify there (also the cancer results and potential radiotherapy consequences) Puschel could be adjusted to a permanent painkiller medication and dismissed back home (this is a drop of our dream).

It would be great if you could pray for that. It’s all about good and clarifying talks tomorrow and thereafter a quick, good and gentle transfer for Puschel. After that we hope and pray that the escalating situation of the last days become pacified by the physicians in Rostock. Our hope is, that we will meet people there who are willing to really fine-tune on Puschel’s entire situation, which is certainly extreme.

Thanks a lot for your faithful company in all this turnarounds. It is an extreme encouragement and strengthening.

 

7th of October 2011

For sure we want to give you an update today about how Puschel is doing. We just came back from the hospital.

Puschel had a relatively calm night. The day thereafter wasn‘t that calm, but even then she could rest for a few hours in the afternoon. We are very thankful for that, because this is exactly the main problem at the moment. Tonight she even ate for the first time, nevertheless she was full of painkillers and therefore couldn‘t open her eyes really well. We hope that it will get better, because tomorrow morning she will be definitely seconded to the oncological hospital in Rostock. I have been there today and I was able to talk and discuss very calmly with the physicians what we can expect in regard to her disease and the medical help they can offer. Also we discussed the following stay at a palliative ward (http://palliativ.med.uni-rostock.de/). For us and for Puschel herself it is most important to get back home as soon as possible with a prudent and practicable adjustment to painkillers. Of course, we cannot say at the moment when this would be possible, but today I really had the impact that the physicians in Rostock absolutely try to achieve this aim and the patient with his suffering and his last „distance“ is central to them.

We know and Puschel does know as well how grievous her disease is and we do not know how many days, weeks or month God wants to give her again. But for now we are really thankful that it is possible to transfer her to Rostock and that she is in safe keeping there.

We will keep you updated and today we really want to be thankful for these new opportunities, especially because we didn‘t expect it. We are very thankful that the physicians in Rostock are willing to comprehensively care for Puschel.

 

8th of October 2011

I just came back from Rostock... The pictures are showing the relocation and Puschel´s final accommodation together with Eva-Maria.

This day had many ups and downs. The relocation started very late, even though it went well. The start in Rostock was rough. Unfortunately Puschel did have had not less pain than in the last days.

However, in Rostock they were very friendly and kind. From the very beginning on they really made an effort, even though that didn‘t lead to a satisfying result.

This evening we stood at Puschel‘s bed and said to God: Lord, your word says: „Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.“ - now, we really beg you to do that! After all the partially very hard battles we fought through the day, we have been really desperate. But at that time, when we were really helpless and asked God to care for Puschel (the physician just gave Puschel more painkillers and in addition he gave her a tranquillizer through the drip), she suddenly felt asleep...! Thus, Eva-Maria did lay down on the deckchair next to Puschel and so I drove home thankfully...!

Our prayer request is that the physicians are able to care for Puschel and help her over the night and through the sunday. On Monday we hope that they can start to figure out a better medication. Thank you so much for praying with us. Puschel really still needs it.

Against all the odds and problems we want to be thankful for the effort the people made in Güstrow. They allowed us to stay with Puschel at the ICU around the clock. Even there we underwent a lot of kindness.

 

9th of October 2011

When I left Puschel today, she had slept two hours in a row which of course is a big help in the current situation.

She still has fever but at least no new critical turn happened. That's a miracle itself, especially considering the high amount of medication she's been given now.

We do hope that the doctors will be able to decide which will be the best balanced mixture of pain relievers to get the best possible result for Puschel tomorrow. We already have the impression, that she is at the right place in the oncology in Rostock. The doctors and nurses are very responsive to Puschels needs und doing all, to make her as pain-free as possible. Eva-Maria will stay with Puschel during the night again. My "shift" starts early in the morning tomorrow ...

We pray, that Puschel will be able to sleep soundly and have a good night. Possibly she will be transfered to the palliative care unit tomorrow.

She often is restless because of pain and needs new pain killers. She is no longer responsive since a few days. In addition it seems that she's suffering from conjunctivitis on both of her eyes now. Still we don't know where this all will lead to today and in the following days.

All things considered we are thankful for every help we received during these past days, though we know the situation can turn to more worse every moment too ... the doctors do their best but they have only limited opportunities left. So everything is in God's hand and for Him it isn't impossible to open new opportunities for the doctors to help Puschel. But if God want's to have Puschel with Him, we pray, that it might be possible that she can be at home when the time has come or at least that she can die peacefully and without agony. We know and believe, God can do this!

 

9th of October 2011 (7:30 p.m.)

Actually I wanted to lead our Sunday church service together with my dad. But now I will go direct to Puschel again. She has fever again since some hours The pain is not more less. It is complete open how these day will find his end. How good to know that all things are laying in HIS hands. Sometimes we ask where God is with HIS power and glory. But we´re living in these world those is so far to HIM. And we know that HIS kingdom is so much better, for Puschel too... Thank you for praying for better doing and alleviation for Puschel!

 

10th of October 2011

I can't report much news to you all, today. There are plenty of questions: How will things develop further for Puschel? What is the cause of these indescribable pain she is suffering from? How long will her body be able to deal with this extremely high amount of pain killers? When can she be transferred to the palliative care unit? Will she make it there, at all?

Puschel was able to sleep a lot during the day but with several interruptions of heavy pain attacks. We are praying, that God will reveal to the doctors what's the cause of this unbelievable pain she is undergoing and that He helps that it disappears. God knows, where the pain comes from. And He knows how things will continue for Puschel. Today I read Deuteronomy 2:7 "... He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. ..." God takes our hardship and sorrows upon His heart and we want to trust HIM, that he will not let his child suffer without a need (watching Puschel in her pain we wonder already, for what this suffering could be of need at all?). But we want to trust God, that He is knowing what He is doing and has his reasons. His thoughts are truly not our thoughts ... (Isaiah 55:8)

We also got the impression today, that in addition to the pain, Puschel had an emotional nadir and all she could do was to weep. It's so tough because the pain killer medication is just overlapping everything. She isn't able to communicate nor even to open her eyes.

When she tries to talk to us, it's almost impossible to understand what she is saying. However if we are praying with her, we can observe, she is joining in our prayer and if we read from the Bible to her, her restlessness eases and she becomes quiet.

Please pray with us, that she can feel that God is at her side during this desert journey and that her emotions will be save from any harm. She is a child of God and she has a strong faith but even the strongest experiences times when they become weak and their strength fades ... Some days ago she said to her aunt: "Aunt Christine, I can't pray right now." Her aunt answered: "Lydia, you don't need to pray, if you are feeling to weak. There are so many people around the world, who are keeping you in their prayers right now!"

For this, your continuous prayers for Puschel, we want to thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. May the Lord reward you for all your prayers and support. It is such a source of strength and encouragement for all of us in this current situation.

 

11th of October 2011

Today, I‘m earlier at home. It‘s because there has been an important point for Puschel, shortly after lunch-time today: she had been seconded to the palliative ward! Now there are totally different opportunities for her and for us as well. First and foremost it is way quieter there, one cannot hear any hospital noises. In her room there is nearly just the drip, which is reminding us that we‘re still in a hospital. She has a single bedroom with enough space, so that one of us can stay there overnight, too. The transfer there she overcame actually very well, because the caregivers ensured a smooth transition in view of the painkillers. Therefore we are very thankful now. Furthermore they ordered a completely new and for Puschel exactly right mattress, where she can be embedded different now. Our hope is that with these things we could suppressed all the unnecessary sources of pain.

We further hope that she can establish is this new silence again. Of course we do not know where these insane pains are from and if it is possible to get Puschel back home, but why should we loose our hope and trust in the Lord that HE can do it? It would be weird if HE brought as that far and then prevent remainder.

Puschel wasn‘t responsive in the last days, but that changed frequently today. Until I left, we could talk to her, even though this was very tiring for her, because the painkillers got her down extremely. Often she just wept and a few times she said to me: „Dad, I don‘t have strength anymore...!“ It looks like she is at the limits, mentally and emotionally... who could be surprised?

We‘re praying that God fulfils her temper, her feelings and her dreams (she is ongoing in a state between dream and reality, often she is roused from slumber) with his peace and gives her certainty that HE is with her, even in the deepest depths. Thank you so much for praying with us. God bless and you all and reward to you this ministry upon his child in need!

 

12th of October 2011

Today we decided to shield Puschel from visitations and all kinds of excitement until next week, so that it‘s possible for her to come round slowly.

She slept most of the day and that‘s very good. Meanwhile the painkillers seems to be well balanced. The physicians try to vary this balance step by step so that in the end there is a medication which is practicable for using it at home. For sure this requires a lot of patience, but we want and we can be patient. Better that than she has to suffer like she did in the last weeks...

All in all we are very thankful at the end of this day. Puschel was not only responsive today, more than that she talked a lot with us of her own accord. When I said goodbye to her to leave her with the two women (Eva & Eva-Maria), she became sad and sentimental, because it is her most important aim to get home to Bülow, at the moment. Especially because it is fall and she loves the beautiful fall in Bülow. When we talked to her about today‘s watchword from Isaiah 40 and that it means that we have our eternal home in heaven, Puschel said: „That‘s right, but nevertheless God put us in his world and HE made it that beautiful for us!“ That shows that she is not sick of life at all, but rather she loves her life on this earth and is firmly established in God‘s eternity.

Furthermore I wand to tell you that the women talked to her about the time at the ICU in Güstrow. Puschel knew almost nothing of these days...! Obviously God answered the prayers of those whom have prayed that she is protected inwardly and HE filled her with HIS peace. Many thanks if you continue to pray for that, because that is exactly what Paul meant when he said: „And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.“ (Philippians 4:7) God answers prayer!

Finally an encouragement: When I was in the car to get home, I still drove through Rostock (it‘s always 75 km approximately), I got a call from Eva-Maria‘s cell phone, but it was... Puschel! I gave Eva-Maria the iPod for Puschel and now she was worried that I myself can‘t listen to it along the way... it was the first phone call since about 3 weeks... God is able...! And God is listening...!

 

13th of October 2011

It was clear already yesterday: we need to be patient! Though, this is easier for us than it is for Puschel. She can‘t really believe where she got there... and somehow again and again her only desire is: To get home as soon as possible. Sometimes she does not realize where she is right now. Yesterday she thought she would be in a hotel and we should gradually drive home now... at least that definitely speaks for the house where she is right now. They care for her touchingly, competently and dedicatedly and she got all the painkillers which she needs. But we are still far away from a medication which is practicable to get her home.

Please pray that she does not fall any deeper in these emotional holes. She is weeping and crying more often, because she just does not have any more strength or possibilities to compensate the fact that she can‘t be at home such a long time. Even the most beautiful environment (she is allowed to design the room very individually) cannot replace her Bülow and the surroundings there. But often the reason for her sadness is just contingent on the medication. Therefore it is a gift that we can really be with here.

But now I want to show you another point to say thanks: When we drove home with Puschel from Heidelberg, we could pick up Esther, Puschel‘s little sister, who is working in the kitchen at „Bodenseehof“ in Friecrichshafen, to come home with us. Her chief, Heinz Spindler, and her whole team gave her off for about 4 weeks to spend a considerable time with her suffering sister and not only undergo this in the distance. She has been with us from the first day on when Puschel came to the ICU in Güstrow due to her Meningitis and she backed her mother up doing the household and so forth.

Now it took longer than expected and Eva-Maria often said: „It would be so good, if Esther could stay at home a little bit longer.“ But we decided to not asked at Bodenseehof, but asked God to arrange it.

Last sunday during the service in our church (it‘s been not that good with Puschel at that time), Heinz Spindler sent an sms, right into our service so to say and he wrote (even if he didn‘t know anything about our request and our prayers) that we can keep Esther here as long as necessary, so that everything in the background is going well...! Isn‘t God that good in all the heavy things??? Thanks to you too, Heinz & team at the Bodenseehof!! And thanks again and again to you all, dear friends, for your prayers, we just can repeat that!

 

14th of October 2011

Today I´ve only a short update for you because I want to go now into the hospital again to stay at night beside Puschel. There I´m not able to update the website.

For Puschel it´s still important to see a really known person when she awakes from her nightmares. Please pray with us that she can sleep all the night and that the balance of pain killers will get better. Only than she has a chance to come back home anytime.

It´s indescribable to know you all beside Puschel and us with all your comfort and all prayers!

 

15th of October 2011

Actually we havn´t to report a lot. The night was hard for Puschel. She couldn´t get really quietly and rest. May be it´s more strenuous for us to look at Puschels fights against all the pain than for herself cause she is still getting an incredible lot of pain killers and may be not able to realize anything. But of course it is nevertheless a big fight for her if she cann´t get rest and sleep. How good is it that she can get help as much as possible here in these surroundings. And of course for the next night the doctor thought about a better medication.

Meanwhile it would be really a miracle to get Puschel back home agein anytime. But what are miracles yet for the Lord and creator of the world...!?

In her bible Puschel has marked a lot of verses: Two of them I want to show you:

Psalms 116:9-10: I shall walk before the Lord in the land of the living. I believed when I said: “I am greatly afflicted.”

How good to know that the life in the land of the living is not depend of our earthly endeavors. If they  finally will fail then Puschel will be much morle close to her Lord! That gives us a great composedness. to don´t hold her convulsively here. Clear that we stay in all our endeavors for keeping her suffering as lowly as possible.

 

16th of October 2011

Yes, Puschel was able to sleep really well at the last night. Apparently the pain killers were adjusted so good that Puschel could rest all the time. The medicine had been reduced for the day but Puschel had also a good time without pain attacks or another problems. At night Puschel awaked for a time really god, so good that she was able to make jokes with her mom... You can see that a little by the pictures. That was a snapshot and now it is different again. But it was real for today. So we´re very thankfull for that.

Now is our prayer  to have a good night again. all in all it will be very important and neccesary that the pain killer medicine can be reduced general. That will be the precondition to can think about going home anytime. We´re really really thankfull for all the friendliness and unconventional help by the doctors and the nurses in these house here!

 

17th of October 2011

For the first time we will leave Puschel alone over night with the nurses and physicians, today. We know (and we made the experience in the last days) that they will do everything what is possible to help her. And we also trust in God that HE is helping her to steady her thoughts and emotions. Her medication is changing now for the aim to get her home soon. Please pray for success, because it is also clear that humans (which means the most able physicians and caregivers as well) just can do all that is humanly possible. We have to dedicate everything else to God (maybe some people would say: You have to be lucky...). But we know that you‘re behind Puschel. Just pray that she can fall asleep as good as she did in the last nights. That God‘s peace moves into her thoughts and feelings.

She has been fairly severe disorientated today, but that‘s probably associated to some of the medicine she takes. We need to have patience and that‘s what we want to be. Anyhow she is in really good hands and therefore we‘re extremely thankful. One cannot be more caring and more gentle. God may bless the nurses and physicians for this good and important service they do for suffering humans, now for Puschel as well.

 

18th of October 2011

The problem with the pain still remains, but the change in the medication seems to point in the right direction. Though, at the moment pain isn´t the main problem any more. Right now her total disorientation is the most burdensome thing. Puschel is not herself at the moment. She doesn´t even know where she is or why she´s there. All of this is possibly the aftermath of the many different medicine she took in the past weeks. The physician who is mostly work with Puschel stayed for most of the day with her and so he gave us certainty that she isn‘t by her own, but in good care. The nurses are very indulgent and kind with her, as well! Please pray with us that the changes lead to the desired results. God is able to give Puschel that she is filled with HIS peace once again and that she stays filled with HIS peace. And also that she is enshrouded by his love. Thanks that you still check on her and pray for her! God bless you.

 

19th of October 2011

As you know, we blocked off Puschel from visitation, even from the own family, until last sunday. And that was good. Last sunday then Annelie came, she‘s a friend of Puschel from our church. She came together with Puschel‘s cousin Reinhild and Silas and Ester. Annelie came from Texas to see Puschel, because she didn‘t know and it isn‘t still, if she could ever see her again. So last sunday, the last day of her visit at home, she was allowed to see Puschel, before it wasn‘t possible. Actually that‘s been the brightest, the most suitable moment in the past time for Puschel. As I described you last sunday: in the end Puschel was kidding with everybody and she was very awake. Lots of greetings from Puschel to Annelie across the pond to Texas!

Puschel‘s friend Myriam and her husband Daniel with their child Pia (Puschel‘s godchild) are in Canada for a „missionary training“. For her it‘s much harder to come, but we trust in the Lord that even for them God can give a reunion. Daniel & Myriam are translating these texts to English since a few days - many thanks for that, quite certain from Puschel as well (if it would be possible)!

Apart from that many friends of Puschel asked if it would be possible to visit her. Now they can, but they should contact us before. At the moment it‘s not that much a visitation to chat, because that‘s not possible for Puschel! But maybe her friends can retrieve her a little bit more out of her „wrong world“...We should keep Puschel awake during the day if possible, so she can find more rest in the night, therefore she can be challenged.

To come out of this hole she still needs patience from all of us (and from the physicians and nurses) and she furthermore needs prayer. Thank you so much for your big help!!!

 

20th of October 2011

If we thought it would be done with the right adjustment of the medication we deceived ourselves. What have never happened to Puschel but now came true: she‘s obviously giving up, she doesn‘t want respectively can any longer. Obviously she‘s in such a deep „valley“ and it‘s unclear how we are able to exhilarate her again. I would seem that she is totally clear in her mind now, but apparently thus depressive (without taking it as technical term) that she distrusts everybody (apparently she thinks that nobody wants to really get her home again) and she allows nobody to come near, us as well. She doesn‘t even allow to check the fever, much less that she would take the medicine, which would be necessary for home as well.

I believe that human beings are hitting the wall for the moment, even more than if it would be „only“ medically provisions, which are needful. Therefore we ask you again and again to pray for her and her current condition. I really believe that only HE who created her can reach her inwardly. A little we have the impression that the only thing we can do beside praying is to prove her that we really want to get her home and so it would come clear that nobody wants to fool her.

As soon as the physicians really advocate it (we experience a stunning support here) and the logistics at home are arranged, we want to do that. Truly everybody here thinks in that direction, it‘s only she who doesn‘t believe it (anymore?). Thanks, if you support us in prayer once again!! God bless you!

I read the story of Elijah to Puschel, today (1 Kings 19:1-18) and thereby I realized that this story is one-on-one assigned to her. God only has to speak the same word into Puschel‘s heart: „Go out and stand on the mountain... cross the dessert, because I have a plan for you...“!

 

21th of October 2011

Today we could see a slight relaxation, but it‘s not distinctly better. The whole day she didn‘t take any tablets and refused every help. But then her older brother Titus and his family (his wife Gesine with Salome, Puschel‘s godchild, and Hellena) came to visit. We had given a small box with tablets to Salome with the tablets she absolutely should take (she took them previously and so we had them in stock at home...). She ought to offer them to Puschel and she did! And Puschel took it immediately...! Unfortunately there has been a misunderstanding and therefore it‘s been the wrong dosage, anyway... now we hope that tomorrow she will take the medicine from her mother as well. Otherwise Salome has to visit her again... this medicine, if given in the right dosage, will really help her durably.

We were with Puschel later this day, and so were Judith and Mareike, two friends from church. She were a little more open, but by far not really approachable. Once again we hope for tomorrow... thanks for your prayers and all indications of your support!!

Dear friends, sometimes I doesn´t understand our God! But would it not be haughtily to think I could understand HIM? In the past days something became clear to me: To speak of „trust in God“ is one thing; but to really „trust in God“ is something else!

What does it mean for us to trust in God? It means: I trust HIM, even if I don‘t understand HIM, if I can‘t classify the things that happen. I believe that God doesn‘t want to do such a thing because he takes delight in doing so. HE has reasons for it, but these reasons I cannot see nor understand. But what kind of trust would it be, if I would know and understand everything? I don‘t have to trust HIM actually. And if we still could arrange all the things alone, we don‘t have to trust HIM, either. A little child trusts his parents, even if it doesn‘t understand everything. To trust means: to assume that HE means well for me, HE will do everything well and HE will lead me a good way, even if I don‘t understand or survey. Let‘s trust in God! Not because or that he fulfils all our desires, but because HE knows  what is good. HE is God and not a human being which is a little more clever than we!

“Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:29)

 

22th of October 2011

I‘m sure you want to know how it proceeds with Puschel, but we don‘t know it either. Very current: Puschel got fever this evening and of course nobody knows yet, where it is from. She is getting antipyretic medicine and antibiotics, but it seems that she absolutely can‘t find rest. It would be our desire and above all Puschel‘s that she we can get her home as soon as possible. Indeed the physicians are really planning to bring her home in the midst of the next week. But as I said cautionary in the last days: if not something much worse happens... I really hope that God does not refuse her this fond wish as well... As you know, the physicians and nurses are really doing everything what‘s possible for humans. And now we really should trust in God (see below...) and not only that he knows and leads the best way, but that she will not get any more complications and is able to come home soon.

I know that these permanent ups and downs are wearing nerves of some of you, but it is unbelievable how you join our ways with your prayers since such a long time. Many thanks for that. Let‘s trust that the Lord of all the world somehow allows us to see his glory through all of this!

 

23th of October 2011

A little update I will give today too.

The fever isn´t away. Puschel needs still medicine against that. But we´re not sure where or what from the fever is. Tomorrow the doctors want to make some tests to look for the reason of these fever. It would be great if that would go down without all. But in all cases the preparations for going back home will start tomorrow. That will need samoe days may be till Thursday. Our prayer is only to get not more complications but an appeasement of these situation. It´s really amazing that the doctors astaying beside us also if there will be some new complications at home. We´re so thankfull for these support of them. May God bless them in HIS own ways. Please pray that it will finally be possible to bring Puschel home.

We don´t know if she will recognize or feel that she is back home. Puschel was not awake the whole day. It could also be that she will not reach Bülow again... But we can trust in HIM to give HIS child Puschel these great (may be last) desire on these earth.

At the moment Puschel has more fever again and is not really present. Her eyes were closed all the day. Right now we would be thankfull for a good nightly sleep.

Paul said in Romans 8:18: I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

 

24th of October 2011

This day has been tripartite: before noon she was far away from any life. She had her eyes closed and didn't react almost not at all. Shortly before noon she suddenly opened her eyes widely and after that she was open for communication and  even touches. She was relatively relaxed and not refusing at all as she was before. However, the problem of the day was about the fever and an obviously very deep seated infection. Her "CAP" (inflammation value in her blood) is currently extremely high. Here we hope that the broad given antibiotics now slowly makes an impact. Around 5.00 pm the tide has turned in exactly that way: she got a fever-inflammation-pain-cramp which stayed until the evening. It's been very helpful and soothing that the main attending physician, Dr. Siems (see picture above) stayed with us at her bed and tried everything what's been possible to facilitate Puschel's life and take her pains away. That's extremely difficult for him, because Puschel still has neither strength nor opportunity to communicate and tell him where the pain is located. After 7.30 pm he sedated her in addition so that she could calm down for the night. Now she lying in her bed and dreams, talking alternately in German and English... almost the one thing which we could now and then understand in the presence of the physician was: "I just want to go home..."

May God give that the antibiotics help directly and rightly and the inflammation pathogen can be detected so that she can be treated directly and fast against it. And that we can find a good time to get her home. It's good and reassuring to know that we find full support through physicians and nurses, but it likewise have to be possible. Please pray with us for that, because we know how little it is in our or the physicians hand...!

 

25th of October 2011

Right now I‘m sitting at Puschel‘s bed, while she has her eyes open and says hello to you. She really said it! She‘s weak, but today she communicated with us and with the physician nearly the whole day. Insofar it‘s been a new situation at least today (and of course we‘re hoping that it is still like this tomorrow). But yet you‘re still used to very quick changes...

Puschel is in a relative balance, on one side with the pains and on the other side with her consciousness. For that reason we are extremely thankful. Now, if nothing serious happens (God may prevent it) we can go home on thursday!!!

This night Eva-Maria is allowed to stay with Puschel in the same room and that‘s what she is going to do. It‘s was Puschel‘s desire and so the made it possible here. That‘s very pleasant. Thus we can give assurance to her and make her feel not to be lonely. She‘s pleadingly hoping that the two nights and tomorrow‘s day elapse quickly and without any complications...

Many thanks, if you‘re praying further for this, but also for a safe and good transfer home and that it can happen like it‘s planned. Her current condition seems like a miracle and we want to accept it thankfully! God is there!

 

26th of October 2011

It seems not only to be a miracle - it is one...! Right now Puschels aunt Christine and her cousin David from Berlin are here in Rostock. And we chat with them quite normal, even with Puschel. Occasionally she is teasing us and is doing her fun... her physician would have a great joy with her... All became better and more stable today. Of course, she is still very weak and in times when she is more weak because of her pain, she is ringing the nurses so that they normally don‘t see her in these good times. And of course she is focused on her home even more now, when she is doing better bit by bit. It‘s all prepared to leave tomorrow. We are endlessly thankful how they support us here with her wish to go home. She experienced a treatment here in Rostock which we have never had before, but of course this is no reason for Puschel to NOT want to go home... She knows that she is in good hands at home, more than anywhere else on this earth. Surely not everybody can say that. And therefore we‘re so thankful that they see it the same way here and encourage it.

Therefore we hopefully greet you guys for the last time from Rostock and we want to dearly thank you for all your support in prayers and a lot of practical help. We even got financial support for the many journeys... God bless and repay you for your love, thoughts and prayers! It would be great, if you further join us with your prayers. We will keep you updated. And now we also want to pray that God repays the physicians and nurses in his way for everything they did good to us.

Now we hope for a good and calm night for Puschel and hopefully everything is going well tomorrow. We will give you a report...!

 

27th of October 2011

Now we are at home!!!

The transport was very good, even though stressful for Puschel. Dr. Siems especially drove with us (beyond his actual obligations) and we’re extremely thankful for that and generally for his tireless commitment. His team supported him (and us) in many spots and they prepared everything very good... Puschel did even more well today than yesterday. She is back to 100 percent! She’s reacting like she used to do and deals normally with the people around her. Of course she’s weak. And of course the last few weeks made a mark on her. But now she’s just happy to be at home! And that’s really a reason to be thankful. It’s somehow a miracle that she came back to life so well in the last days and all the more in the last hours, after the past days. And now she’s at home. However, she’s really stressed caused by the transport. Her nerves are extremely tensed, especially those in her right leg, in which actually the sciatica is already not working. It’s probably some nerves at her periphery or muscles, which are controlled by her encephalic or whatever. Anyhow, she is racked with hardly and irregular twitched nerves  or muscles since hours. As happy as she is to be at home, as much she is troubled right now, therefore she can’t facilitate her joy at the moment.

We have these two thoughts to pray today:

We thank God sincerely that Puschel has been fit straight to the point. We are extremely thankful for the personal effort of Dr. Siems and that altogether went that well.

We just asked God simply for a quick and sustained silence for the first night and days (well, not only the first...). God brought her so far, therefore Puschel should be able to rejoice her home. God can give that. And you can pray for it. Many many thanks!

 

28th of October 2011

Now Last night was very very troublesome for Puschel, I can‘t say it another way. But in all her pain, which we barely could solve, she said again and again: I‘m so thankful to be at home again. And however it will continues - even for Dr. Siems and his colleagues it‘s been a priority to fulfil her desire as soon as possible - thank God!

Around 2.00 am this night Puschel felt finally asleep. It was really a fight against these pains! One hour I sat on her leg with my 80 kg (she wanted it!), to curb the convulsions a little bit. Admittedly, that gave her a little support, but the pain was still there. Painkillers helped only limited. One of the medicaments she is taking of her own accord now, she always refused it in the clinic, so it‘s missing now. But there she has been not herself often.

Well, so I sat on her lag and in between I really doubted about God‘s good purpose... Puschel has been at an end! And I can still hear her weepingly praying: „Jesus, I really thank you that I can be at home, but please help me now...“ We prayed a lot together, thankfully on the one hand and desperately on the other hand... and at anytime she slowly felt asleep... but then we didn‘t want to leave her bed, because she slept very restless and so we sat at her bed until the morning came... but she indeed slept through the night. Today she was calm the whole day, but likewise very calm, we assume that she is fairly exhausted at the moment. And she is totally right with that...

Many things worked out today around Puschel, so that we are well constructed with all necessary tools for the coming time. That has been really well prepared by the people from Rostock and therefore we are quite relaxed at the moment.

Now, we hope so much that Puschel is able to gain a little bit of strength and so is able to discern her surrounding. Her little nieces with Salome, her godchild, have been already here. She was happy about that despite her weakness. And it is simply quite another matter to be at home than to be in an hospital (the people from Rostock may excuse this...) even if we can‘t compare the palliative ward in Rostock with any other normal hospital, you know that from our descriptions from the last time.

It would be simply a present, if God would give her a time now, where she can have joy and a little bit more strength. We really don‘t know how long this time would be. But in all which Puschel underwent in the last times (maybe she doesn‘t know everything...), every additional day is a present. This is how it it since a long time now.

Please pray that she can become more alert and firmer and let‘s thank together that she came to rest finally now.

Again and again we want to thank you very much for your faithful accompaniment through all turbulences!!

 

29th of October 2011

Today Dr. Siems wanted to come to Bülow to see Puschel and if necessary re-adjust the medication. He wanted to see Puschel smiling... though this didn`t happen.

Puschel had needed a long time yesterday to recover from the exertions of the night before yesterday. She did recover well. In the evening she was that awake and clear that we could passed in review many days of the last 5 weeks. Thereby it came to light again that she didn`t get many things at all or only with her subconsciousness which had happened. It`s been a very nice evening with her and we didn`t shorten it, hoping that she could sleep then good and recreative during the night. This happened exactly. Unfortunately the night was over around 5.00 am in the morning, because then that well known convulsions of her nerves, muscles and her body began again. And they have been again that heavy that she lost all of her recovery from the night and in the end she was running out with her strength and slept until this evening. She did not get anything from that beautiful fall day and nothing from the physician... but it is much more difficult that she always loses her balance, so that much earlier progress is gone again totally. Dr. Siems brought another medicament for her against these cramps of her muscles and nerves. Now we hope that it helps a little bit. Of course her day and night rhythm is now confused.

Please pray for a good night, for rest and relaxation!

Something nice at the end:

In all despair and all pains Puschel suddenly had the idea: If I have to take so much morphine to somehow pull through than these cramps of my nerves won`t change much, even if I we take the chance and accept additional exertions while taking a (long-desired) bath. Admittedly it`s not been a relaxing bath, but it`s been the sought after „whole body cleandown“, which has been impossible for such a long time. Now she lays in her bed, totally knocked out, but clean an in an fresh linen bed...

 

30th of October 2011

This morning Puschel said: „I really would love to go with you to the Sunday service...!“ So for her grandpa Holmer, who preached at the sermon, it`s been clear: We have to have a „little“ service in her room... and so we sat and stand around her bed and we sang songs in German and English together. Grandpa Holmer summarized his sermon of the service and prayed with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Puschel has been awake nearly the whole day, more or less. She`s weak and tired, but she persevered very good and without to much additional painkillers. We`re glad and thankful about that - and we hope that this state endures and as we go along get`s better. And of course we imploringly hope that these convulsions and cramps are a thing of the past.

Two days ago in the evening we had a longer time together with Puschel in which we were able to tell her about the past. In fact, she experienced these agonies, but obviously she did not realize it that much. At least she doesn`t remember them. We told her that her doctor in Rostock has said: The most beautiful thing which Lydia could give me once would be a smile -  that would be the most beautiful thanks... she wasn`t able to give him a smile until today, because when he was here yesterday she was totally abstracted by the hours of cramps and fight before. We told her as well that she has prohibited him to call her Lydia... then she said: „Now, if he is coming tomorrow to us, I have to greet him with a smile and give him the „Lydia“ back.“ As I said, both things remain to be done, because when he came, she „was not there“...

And now we hope once again to have a calm night and a smooth beginning of the day tomorrow. Would you pray with us that these cramps never happen again? Thank you!

 

31th of October 2011

Puschel has had a good beginning of the day after a altogether good and calm night. Yet, fairly soon light convulsions began again in her leg. And they got stronger and stronger. We tried a lot to divert her, we watched a movie together, talked to her, read the Bible, prayed, all these things which are good anyways, but they could not really divert her from the pain. After lunch we took the bull by the horns. She said already before midday: I would preferably be outside once... we included this and said to her: Puschel, we will freight you on your „lying“ (?) wheelchair and we will go outside to „Saba“ (her horse) and then we will go to the runway for model aircrafts, so that you can see how Silas new model aircraft is working...

She herself definitely wanted it and her pains were assessable. She enjoyed the fresh air, Saba and everything else outside. But the pain had no mercy, it got worse and worse. It`s been again these convulsions and cramps of her nerves and muscles. We did give her additional painkillers already, so that she was best covered with regard to her tumour and her pelvis, but they help only limited for theses convulsions. And so she couldn`t really enjoy her brother`s model aircraft. We had to go home ahead of schedule.

The best thing about it is that we got the insight that she can do such tours with relatively little additional painkillers - if someday these convulsions stop.

It`s a matter of conjecture that these are maybe repercussions of her meningitis. As matters stand it would be really easy without these cramps.

So for today our „prayer of the day“ is that her nerves simply calm down. God isn`t only her creator, but HE is also „Lord over her nerves“, isn`t HE? Now she`s sleeping, once again with the help of fairly strong relaxant and soporific. And so we hope for her once again to have a good and calm night.

 

first of November 2011

At that time we are unable to show you all the pics we took. Puschel keeps us in suspense... the weather is nice, Puschel is at home. And it`s really like an affirmation of the great support from Rostock to get Puschel home: Puschel wants to be active as long as it works anyhow. She wants simply to go out to get fresh air! She doesn`t want to lay in her bed and being nursed! And even if it doesn`t always work out as planned and desired, this is exactly the best sign for us that this „Puschel“ we experienced temporarily in the hospital was not „our Puschel“...

Today she was outside in the sun the whole forenoon. That`s been very good for her. Around noon there was again an attack with cramps in her nerves and we had to lay her back to her bed, contingent with giving her painkillers and relaxant medication etc. Then she slept for a few hours and woke up again. Of course this is not really good for the next night, but this rhythm is forced by her situation. As Puschel was awake again, she really wanted to sit(!) with us at the table for supper! Of course we knew that that would be problematically considering the last weeks which she spent solely in her bed. But the very desire to do that was great. And of course we encouraged her in that. As was expected she could not sit with us longer than 10 minutes, but that`s been no problem. Now she is lying in her and yet she undertook a lot...

In between, as we prepared her for the wheelchair, she began to weep and said:„I`m sad, because I`m no longer Puschel...“ when we asked her she said:„I can`t do anything independently...!“ We could answer her confidently:“That`s exactly our Puschel, because you are trying to bounce back again and again...“ Now we hope and pray anew that these cramp-attacks are getting less and less and we hope that after a few activities, which we have to do with her in bed now, she will have a good night. Everything isn`t very stable, but we`re thankful for every single step of progress!

 

second of November 2011

Two days after Puschel got home she already took a bath, but that`s been attended by one of these cramps of her nerves and muscles. Today Puschel was able to take her first relaxing-bath. She has had a very good night! And she slept in today really long and without any additional painkillers during the night. The whole day she had no cramp attacks and so she was able to be with a moderate mass of painkillers. Even after she took the bath this evening and, as you can see in the pictures, she added an extended grooming, she needed nearly no additional painkillers. Now she is laying in her bed, again very calm and is watching a movie with her friend Judith, who will drive back to the south tomorrow. Thereby she longed to eat roasted(!) spaghetti with bolognese. For her little sister Esther, whom we thankfully still have here as a loan from „Bodenseehof“(!) , it`s been of course one of her easiest culinary practices to prepare them for her! So, Puschel started already to participate in all day life quite „normal“. And that`s really a miracle for us! It looked quite different a long time. Of course, we do not know, how it`ll go on and each day is an additional present, but therefore exactly we are happy about each day new and we thank God for that.

And it`s still new a present that all of you are going with us through all these highs and lows.

For us it`s also a huge present that Puschel`s physicians from Rostock are willing to help us at any time, not only in the background, but rather Dr. Siems called at least once a day to see how Puschel is doing and to think about how we can optimize medical things where necessary. Therefor we`re endlessly grateful.

We will further spell and learn the lesson of God to really commit everything to HIM. How I mentioned: Faith and trust begins exactly at that point where our understanding ends. And it remains our certainty: He who believes in Jesus will live, even though he dies... (Gospel of John, chapter 11 verse 25)

 

third of November 2011

Now it`s already normal that Puschel is lying in her wheelchair at our dining table... unbelievable!

Even today has been a very beautiful fall day, which Puschel was able to enjoy to the fullest. She had a very good night again! It`s always a little bit exciting to come to her in the morning and to ask her how she slept. Of course we are with her time after time until long after midnight, to see how she`s doing and if everything is calm and all right. We do this to react in case it is necessary and to eventually adjust her medication. But that hasn`t been necessary a bit in the last two days. And at this time she is strangely complaining only about her legs and feet, which causes her problems. That is probably because of the nerves, which are stressed because of the meningitis and the tumour. The part of the tumour itself causes nearly no problems at the moment. Of course, we do not really know how the situation is inside after the irradiation, but we hope that her nerves are calming down now more and more. However, it`s been not the heavy cramps in the last two days and that`s exceedingly „comfortable“... and we are gratefully thankful to God. You know all too well that all of this isn`t normal or taken for granted after the last weeks. And if I wrote yesterday that we take all of these beautiful days from God`s hand this applies for the nights as well, because they build the foundation for a more relaxed day.

So, all in all we want to be thankful by heart and treat all of this as a „gracious free gift“. Puschel is still weak in all, she`s talking quietly and reserved, but she`s absolutely on the spot and in the know and even this is a great gift in view of the past time! Thank you for thanking with us and praying further with us!

 

4th of November 2011

 If we said: we take all the good days and every good night as a gift from God`s hand, the question is: What are we doing with the not that good or even worse days and nights...? Yes, even these times we want to take from God`s hand - and again we can`t understand why he asks all of this of his child. Just now we talked with Puschel about the last days and about what it means to trust in God and to praise him, if days such days are running out without any chance to enjoy it. That`s what Puschel had today!

We so to say had to suffer a setback. The night started well for Puschel. She felt asleep good, everything was calm - until she started to groan with pain around 3.30 am and we heard it via audio-surveillance. She was in pain, unfortunately not „only“ pain from her tumour, but rather again these cramps of her nerves and her muscles, especially in her legs. And that spells trouble. It took us until 5.15 am when Puschel felt asleep again, after she consumed a lot of different medicine. But unfortunately this wasn`t the end - in the morning it progresses. And so we had to calm her down in a way that she slept through the whole day. Now in the evening she still has a little bit of these twitches, but we hope that we can keep it in control without setting her to sleep so deeply that she needs a long time again to be awake and fully present.

Of course that means as well that the evening is again a little bit longer for us. It`s just a dumb attendant state that the rhythm of day and night is sometimes completely off the rails. 

Now we were all so happy...., eh? Puschel major misery at that evening was: You have so much work just because of me... we said to her that they certified me as unfit for work and so I`m free for her and that there is a lot understanding in the congregation and beyond. We thanked God together and just asked him again for a good night. And I told her that I will ask you exactly for the same thing again, while writing this update. And we now that you like to do that for her. Thank you so much! When Jesus was asked to come to his friend Lazarus to heal him, he didn`t do anything for two days until Lazarus died. In the end he arouses him from death (for our creator no problem!) and he said: All of this had to happen so that the father in heaven is glorified all the more... There is no limit nor a problem which is too big for the living God. It`s worth it to trust in HIM and to give HIM the glory.

 

5th of November 2011

Puschel overslept the most part of the day, which is not the worst considering the circumstances. She has still these convulsions of her nerves and muscles. Today she woke up mid-afternoon and then we tried to keep her awake and busy as good as possible. It`s been nice to see that she wanted to do something, even when the convulsions joined her in a less hard form all the time. It causes pain again and again, especially in her legs and feet.

But first we could sit at our dining table together with her and after that she longed to go outside in her „lying-wheelchair“ to get fresh air. It`s been already dark outside and so - you can see it in the pictures - we made a night walk with her. She was able to participate half of the afternoon and the whole evening at Magdalena`s birthday (her 20th birthday and she wanted to celebrate it in Bülow) together with Reinhild and Almut (Magdalena`s sisters, so a few of Puschel`s many cousins) and all of her siblings and her godchild Salome and Hellena. And that`s been a lot, right? Now she got her medication for the night, even the one  to calm down and sleep better and hopefully she can sleep really well tonight. We hope for that so much, because she`s really weak meanwhile, caused by all these pains and medicaments. But all in all everything went well today and therefore we are thankful for today. Of course it would be the most beautiful thing if she can get rid of these painful convulsions, because this tortures her more than the basic suffering from cancer at this time. We want to trust further that God can give her again days, which she can simply enjoy... that HE is able to do this, that we know!

 

6th of November 2011

Sometimes we cannot understand it - Puschel actually has had a limited good night, you can also say: a really bad one. It took her until around 3.30 AM to fell asleep and that only with a lot of medicaments - the convulsions tortured her to much again. Two and a half hours later she woke up again - she had fever, not to bad but enough. After we have given her a antipyretic medicine she fell asleep for a long time - until this afternoon. Fever is off the cards right now! For supper she was able to be with us at the table, lying in her wheelchair... Nevertheless she`s (probably caused by the medicaments) very down and also a little bit disarranged. Now we want to go outside to get fresh air so that she can hopefully have a better night then.

Again and again we`re happy that she is at home. And she said it this evening again with tears in her eyes. But it`s clear that we hope pleadingly that there are better times now to come, when she can discern and enjoy her home...

 

7th of November 2011 

Puschel has had a good and calm night! That`s good news, eh? Yes, we`re very glad and grateful, because at the moment it`s really not self-evident, as you know. But as all of us, our life is dependent on how we sleep in the night. All the better you can be active usually. I said „usually“ because this is not a guarantee for Puschel... but today she nevertheless had a quite good day until the afternoon. She was able to have a bath, altogether to groom herself, she got a new port-needle, etc. And then she wanted to go outside with her wheelchair so dearly to visit an older lady in Bülow, who was always happy about visitations from Puschel, before the irradiation in Heidelberg. But when we started to prepare everything these convulsion came back... So with the walk it came to nothing, instead she had to fight agains this pain again. It`s really jerky if you can`t do anything against it, just sitting next to her. Admittedly we consider and investigate different options, but when sitting directly next to her it feels like going at a slow pace... much too slow.

Time after time some ask us as parents how we are doing... of course not really good, if you feel like just sitting next to her helplessly, as mentioned. But sometimes it`s amazing for us ourselves how good we are doing despite these circumstance. Probably one can explain that psychological or another way, but for us we see this as a result of all the prayers, which help us not to loose trust in God, confidence and joy. Maybe this is a miracle of God, which HE gives us. We (and many of you) pray for help and healing or relief for Puschel and God gives us help to remain steadfastly at her side...? I would like to have more, usually, that God helps in the way we asked him. But his thoughts are higher than ours... (Isaiah 55:9), because HE is God!

Many thanks therefore again and again for all your prayers and every encouragement whatsoever!! We love to pass it on to Puschel. God bless you!

 

8th of November 2011 

Sometimes it`s the night, sometimes the day... This time Puschel has had a good night, but she woke up in the morning and had again these pains in her legs. This remains the whole day. Nevertheless she tried to set herself on her feet. She did it..., because we set her on her feet for a while. That`s certainly good for her circulatory and also in general. When she tried to stand by her own, she realized that her legs do not carry her. In this moment she began to weep and said: „Dad, my legs cease functioning...“ Of course we said to her that she should not wonder about that after 7 weeks merely lying. She accepted that and tried a few times more - successfully - to stand for a time. However, after that she was done. The convulsions gained the upper hand. She wanted to go outside to get fresh air so desperately, but this didn`t work anymore... Now, in the evening, she is sleeping firstly and we hope that she will be sleeping for the whole night. This would be the requirement for strength for tomorrow.

Please pray with us that we, together with the physician, are able to find out wherefrom these convulsions come and that we can help Puschel pointedly. We hope that all of this is temporarily, because it seems to be a related to the meningitis. On the weekend Puschel`s uncle (he is a neurologist in a hospital in the south) tries to come, to visualize the situation and give additional advice. We`re still grateful that the physicians from Rostock are in on it, with Dr. Siems first of all. And they do not have a problem, if Puschel`s uncle „barges in“. This shows as well that they really care for the patient. We thank them and God himself very much for that! Puschel herself is often quite „cute“, she`s always grateful, is sometimes weeping because she is „so weepy“, is in truth very brave and strong. Unfortunately she`s occasionally very drugged, caused by the many medicaments. We just hope for better and more alert times.

 

9th of November 2011 

At the moment, Puschel is quite k.o.! Since yesterday she has a bronchitis and she gets antibiotic against it since today. The cough she has it quite light,  so everything doesn`t look dramatically. Nevertheless, we know that the body`s defenses are low and so every single infection is critically.

Therefore it`s good that she was able to sleep well last night. And the day was also very calm. Unfortunately we could not thing about a walk today. It`s probably pretty much the same tomorrow. However, we want to get her outside to fresh air as soon as possible, because this will strengthen her immune system.

Many thanks for supporting her in prayer furthermore. It would be incredible good and for her condition extremely helpful, if these convulsions would be little or even stop.

First of all we hope for another good and calm night now. We will report...

 

10th of November 2011 

Again we`re glad that Puschel is lying in her bed and sleeping very calm right now. It stays a balancing act to provide her with painkillers or tranquilizer in a way that she can she can be calm on one hand but on the other hand she should stay awake and be present during the day to enjoy the day and be able to sleep well in the night. How good to have so great professional and medical support! But everything needs still to be improved and optimized. Please pray that this can be happen and that Puschel soon can be clear and more awake in her mind. Today she didn`t participate much, because she slept a lot. But when she was really awake in the afternoon, she wanted to go outside immediately, to get fresh air. We did it though not too long. It ends again with a big unrest and much pain. But now, as I mentioned, she is calmly lying in her bed. Our hope is that the antibiotics make an impact from tomorrow on and „flush“ away her cough and the infect she has... when so many problems concur (cancer, meningitis, infections) it`s difficult to interpret the symptoms rightly and subtend the right medication. But considering all of this we can and we want to be grateful that it is as (good) as it is right now. Even though we are allowed to hope for better times, aren`t we? And we are allowed to trust God certainly!

 

11th of November 2011 

On the one hand this day was difficult, on the other hand it was quite calm. Calm, because Puschel was not bothered as otherwise customary by pain or cramps. Indeed, she felt a few convulsion in her legs again and again, but it was not that convulsive and painful. And that eases the situations for sure, because this has been the main problem in the past.

The hard part at the moment is that Puschel is a little bit out of it and partially disorientated. She asked a few times today, when we would go home or when we would arrive at home. We`re just testing - of course in consultation with the physician - which medicaments are helpful any longer and which ones we should reduce. Unfortunately there are not simple answers, caused by Puschel`s complex symptoms. Sometimes you can just stand beside and not really help her, just be there. Sometimes it`s „only“ emotions or feelings which causes her pain and against this there is normal medicine... It`s still enthralling, every day new. So often we just stand there and ask: God, why do you not act clearer and more apparent...? And sometimes we can just peg to the certainty that HE is there, even if we can`t see it and we just hold fast on the many promises from God that HE means it well and HE is doing it well! Most of all we wish for Puschel that God`s peace, which is higher than our thoughts, fills her in all her dreams, thoughts and emotions... thank you for your prayers for her!

 

12th of November 2011 

Sometimes everything is like an emotional roller coaster. Yesterday during the night we really thought that we have to say goodbye to Puschel. The bladder bag haven`t got any fluid since hours and that means that either the catheter is not functioning correctly anymore (but we checked that already and did not discover anything conspicuous) or kidneys stopped working. We had to assume the latter, because with her catheter everything seems to be all right... it`s been a very short, but intensive night...

In the morning it exposed that her catheter yet has been congested, but one could not see it. After a little consulting from Rostock we moved it off and then Puschel took an extensive bath.

To enjoy that is unfortunately not granted for her, because soon these pains came into effect and dragged on until the evening. Moreover we had to set a new catheter wherefore our nurse Maik brought along his cousin Diana extra, who is working in the hospital of Teterow and is able to do that routinely. But caused by all of this pothers and requirements we need to give her a lot of painkillers and other remedies so that she now calms down slowly and then hopefully is able to fell asleep soon.

So this day was full of turnarounds and again difficulties. How good to know our lives firmly established in God and HIS will and to know that we are not completely dependent on our current situation and feelings... thanks that support us with your prayers and so carry us through these difficult situations. Therefore we wanted you to participate in all these turnarounds of this day.

 

13th of November 2011 

It`s nice that there are totally different days as well at times, because today Puschel has been very calm the whole day. She made the day without any additional painkillers. That`s good, because now we are able to ease into the night and the following day.

For that we got additional support from Puschel`s uncle, who came extra from Thüringen to see her and to detailed talk to her. That`s not a given on one hand because he is integrated in a tough everyday life in a hospital and yet he decided to come. His family had to play along as well. On the other hand it`s not a given that Dr. Siems, who is actually accompany Puschel functionally, has the grandeur and no problem with the fact that we consult another physician, in this case a neurologist (indeed that is the normal praxis on the palliative ward in Rostock). That`s not a given for every physician.

So we are first of all grateful tonight and we`re looking forward to the next days. Of course we`re in suspense considering the next hours and days, but we have every reason to be confident. Thank you for still staying at our side and thanks to all who wrote e-mails to Puschel or to us or gave other signs of support. And how good that we can count together on the opportunities of our LORD. In the word for sunday it says:“I the LORD do not change.“ Malachi 3:6

 

14th of November 2011 

We would love to more mobilize Puschel, because for sure one part of her pain is caused by just lying in her bed, mostly on her back. Insofar it`s only a partially quite good note that today she has had a very calm day. But only insofar, because if you witness the last days it`s of course really positive. And we do not want to be impatient, but move on step by step. One thing at a time... So, it`s been a very calm day today, on which she slept a little bit to much, but altogether it seems that she got a little more stable.

Indeed it`s nicer, if we can show you pictures of her in her wheelchair, but now we want to see that she can be mobilized bit by bit with appropriate physiotherapy to reach this goal little by little. The last night was calm and good as well.

All in all real reasons to be grateful. It`s been good that my brother watched her with the eyes of a neurologist and made some proposals. Sometimes it`s only nuances in the adjustment or an additional professional view, which makes the issue smoother. Yet generally until now everything was adjusted well. Anyway we have to re-adjust again and again.

So, there are no new pictures today, but gratefulness and a little more silence, which we need as well...

 

15th of November 2011 

The basic climax for Puschel and us today was a little trip outside, around our house, in her normal wheelchair, so she was sitting. The whole thing lasted again only for 10 minutes, but it was a careful beginning, because in that way her circulation starts to work better. Her legs are better supplied with blood, etc. The whole thing was good to bear for her. Indeed she got a painfully cramp in her thigh afterwards, but altogether everything went well and relaxed today.

The medication seems to be attuned better to her situation and so we hope that she is able to gain more strength to do and experience things. She herself wants that vehemently, but it`s not that easy for her to realize that it is not working like she want it...

You notice in all that the situation is much more relaxed now. Certainly it stays an act of balance, because there are situations during a day from time to time when she`s moaning about pains, which we we are able to locate only hardly, or they are not to fight against with the normal painkillers. But indeed it seems that we are able to find a balance better and better.

Thank you that you are praying with us that these pains will become more controllable - it`ll never go totally without - and that Puschel will not loose her gumption and courage to try to stand up again and again.

 

16th of November 2011 

Today we tried it again - to tumble up from bed. Puschel really wants it. But already when she wanted to dress her sweatpants she again got an extremely painful cramp in her thigh..., and with that the outdoor trip died for the time being. Now the matter is that we try to prevent these cramps. Medicine is one thing, an appropriate physiotherapy the other. We will care for that immediately tomorrow. Of course it`s good that Puschel herself exactly wants to do that again and again, because it could be also the matter that she yields up to her fate and doesn`t want to do anything. But you know that this would be not the Puschel you know... it would be fatal, if it would be fail in the end caused by this to get her on her own feet - for which period soever.

Puschel has been quite disorientated from time to time in the last days. We didn`t find out yet what was that down to. It can be barely caused by the medicine at the moment, because she is able to really sparely deal with them (at least for her conditions..., one of us would be probably knocked down by a fraction of this). We strongly assume that for the most part this is in consequence of the meningitis. That implies the “prayer of the day” for us. God is able to help her to overcome this malicious additional threat completely. In her condition everything what has been until now is already a miracle. We read that over 20 % of all adults laid up with meningitis not only keep a permanent damage, but even die...

So, despite all evil, thank and request are closely side by side!

By the way: Puschel admittedly came to rest late (around 3.00 AM), but then she slept well and has had altogether a good day!

 

17th of November 2011 

If Puschel does not urge to much to go outside, it`s altogether relaxed at the moment. But it would be fallacious to think that she only has to lie in her bed very calm and it`s not escalating, because the longer she is lying inactively in her bed, most of the time on her back, and is not doing something, the weaker get her muscles. And for sure this will impinge on her nerves and even more on her circulatory. So, from tomorrow on we want to see that she gets mobilized with physiotherapy regularly.

Currently her blood levels are not very good. Both, her inflammatory level (CRP!), which is much to high, and the levels of her red blood cells and oxygen etc., which are much to low, will possibly cause difficulties for us, because blood transfusion can be achieve only in a hospital. That means new problems, because of firstly the transport and secondly Puschel does not want to go in a hospital, in no case... so we hope and pray that the inflammation, which is somehow still in her body, can be confined and her blood levels are gaining a normal level again.

Apart from that it`s been a quite relaxed day, as I said. Puschel had many visitors. Even her friend Gisela, who lived in our neighbourhood in the past, but now in Berlin, came extra today, to visit her. At the moment it`s very good if she is challenged in a mentally manner, too. We also try to convey all the greetings of many of you, more and more. That does her good, even if she does not get everything at all time. Many thanks to you for that! And also many thanks again and again that you are still faithful to this page and with that faithful to Puschel herself!!

 

18th of November 2011 

On that day they will say to Jerusalem, Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:16-17

Whether we should take this word from the Bible even for us? I believe so. Therefore: We further have patience and are glad again and again that Puschel can be at home. We „do not let our hands hang limp“, not because „it`ll work out all right“ with Puschel, but because we trust that God himself keep things firmly in hand and HE knows what HE does! We have certainly humans as well for our support and help, who know what to do and therefore we are very grateful. And equally grateful we are that you support us in prayer for such a long time now. That is one of the biggest presents to us in all these hard times.

From this „Puschel-day“ there is not much to report. She slept very much today. This is of course not the best for the day, because she should sleep during the night. This evening she`s that weak and sleepy, that we have to worry again. Admittedly one can talk to her, but gets only a nod of assent. She`s currently unfit to take her tablets... she has not the best blood level since yesterday, as you know. That can cause much weakness and weariness, too. Our only hope is that she doesn`t have a stronger infection again in any real of her body. Now we hope once again that she nevertheless can have a good night and that tomorrow everything looks better again.

 

19th of November 2011 

Sometimes things look different in the end than expected in the beginning. Anyhow, for Puschel it`s been like that today.

She slept the whole day. She`s just weak and faint. She`s nearly no strength to utter anything. It`s not threatening and obviously not caused by pain, but different things are brought into contact: the medicaments in high doses over such a long period, certain medicaments especially. Then her relatively bad blood levels (if there is to less oxygen in blood and the erythrocytes are so low, then one become floppy and tired). And of course to lie for such a long time and the exertions of the last weeks causes a lot, too.

Today Dr. Siems came from Rostock, to see Lydia. He couldn`t just loosely chat with her until now, never...! Well, Puschel slept today as well as he came. She slept until around 5.30 PM. Then the doorbell rang and Puschel got a visitor from Berlin. A friend, Markus Spieker, who tomorrow is on duty again in the capital studio of the public service television and therefore wanted to use the afternoon. He didn`t sign in, but came spontaneously. When I whispered into her „sleeping“ ear who is hear to visit her, she was apparently so much awake and rested that she opened her eyes (for the first time since two days) and then she was back to 100 percent for two hours, chatted with us normally, ate supper with us, and let us foster her in the end. We were able to give her all the medicine (including Clexane, sorry Dr. Siems that all of this was unthinkable this afternoon...), so that she`s ready now for the night, well positioned, washed, brushed teeth, etc.! We are really grateful now and hope again to have a calm, good night!

 

20th of November 2011 

There is actually not much new to report today, because altogether not much happened this sunday. But this is it exactly what is worth a note, because Puschel woke up this morning and was awake nearly the whole day. Preferably she would have participated in the service of our church, but that wasn‘t possible. She got a lot visitors from our congregation and she has been quite present. It was really a surprise that she was so much awake already in the morning, after last evening was good as well.

Unfortunately all wake phases were accompanied by hard, but luckily not so long, cramps especially in her left thigh. This of course frustrates her mentally again and again.

And so it‘s essential from tomorrow on that we effectively do something against it. If there were not these peculiar cramps, she would do quite good. Please pray that we get a grip on this additional burden to her condition. Again we hope for a good and calm night and are very grateful for the last one.

 

21th of November 2011 

Altogether it`s been a really good day! Puschel was awake the whole time. We tried to relax and get into motion her muscles a bit first thing in the morning - so to say preventive. From tomorrow on she will get professional physiotherapy. Anyway, she didn`t have any of these terrible cramp attacks. Despite the fact that at least a bath was announced today...! After that she took a good nap and then she`s been at least in her bed very awake and active.

Well, we`re very grateful for a really good day! And we are curious how it`ll work with and after the physiotherapy tomorrow. It would probably be the most beautiful thing if she could go outside again tomorrow. That requires a good night, of course...

Thank you very much for dropping in here again and again. And thanks to all of you for each prayer for Puschel. It`s not self-evident that she is at home and we can even hope now that she`s doing better bit by bit. Therefore we`re so grateful for every help by the physicians here, but likewise for every prayer that assails heaven. God gave us his word - let`s take HIM at his word! Thanks!

 

22th of November 2011 

The essence „picture of the day“ is the one in the middle above: Puschel has been outside today! And she did altogether well! She`s had physiotherapy for the first time today. After there was midday break and then we went outside soon. It did not work very long, but after that she slept good and now we hope that she can be active a little while more, to approach the night smooth balanced.

Tomorrow there is another action to be the order of the day: Because she is always that weak now, and she has to less red blood cells and to less oxygen in her blood, she shall get a blood transfusion tomorrow. Thereby it depends of course that there will be no complications and it hopefully helps her. Please pray for that and as well that we really have to be there only for a few hours and can drive home after it immediately. Puschel trusts us that we will take her home again and she doesn`t have to stay in the hospital again. If everything works well we are confident that her situation will get more stable little by little. That would be an additional present, because it`s still more than we could have hoped 4 weeks ago...!

 

23th of November 2011 

A real 8-hour day was to overcome for Puschel today... she didn`t even take a midday nap... at 10.00 AM very kind ambulance-men picked her up and made every effort to organize everything as gentle as possible. There was much appreciation in the hospital of Teterow as well. Everything was so well prepared by Dr. Siems and our family doctor and so indeed everything went smoothly. Puschel had no particular pain attacks and was at home again at around 6.00 PM. Therefore we`re very grateful!!

Now Puschel has certainly a little bit more „power“ in her blood, to come through the next time, but more than that: to be able to maybe get more active.

Today was again such an „awake-day“ where we could recall the past weeks and months with Puschel. Thereby it came to light again that she apparently doesn`t have the most difficult and painful times in her mind at least. All things happened until the meningitis she knows very well, everything which happened after that she knows only fragmentarily. So it has entered what we hoped and prayed for, namely that she faded out many things. In all difficulties with the meningitis there is so something good with it, even if we would like to do without...

 

24th of November 2011 

Well, we can`t say that everything is going to be better now, after Puschel got new blood, but you can tell that she becomes more stable and clear. Indeed, she took an extensive midday nap, today, but apart from that she has been quite active.

Before noon she had physiotherapy, in the afternoon 3 friends of her from our congregation came to visit her. They joined us for a walk in the vicinity. Now they sit at Puschel bed and make music respectively sing songs together. You can see it well on the pictures above. So Puschel will surely, after preparing her for the night, sleep good, at least this is our hope. But the presuppositions are good again.

It`s been a nice day and so we`re looking forward to the next one... well, we don`t want to be too euphoric, because as we know it can quickly be totally different. But we should have a little bit of trust and optimism, should we not?

It`s really nice at the moment to see how clear and present Puschel is. And of course we like to take these days and times from God`s hand. So, we do not want you to just pray for recovery and good nights, but we want to heartily be grateful for all the good, right?

 

25th of November 2011 

Now Puschel finished her marathon of the day. Going outside wasn`t possible today, because after lunch break when she was ready to go it started to rain. This morning has been physiotherapy of course... in the early evening she took an extended bath with the whole program of washing and grooming. That means always that she has a high degree of burden, but therefore now she is lying in her bed, a little bit tired but totally fresh. We`re watching a movie, before she gets the last medicaments of the day, which sometimes means that she is going to be tired and soon felt asleep. Often she doesn`t even witness the end of the movie, but most of the time this happens later, at around 10.00 PM, after we had our vesper service and after that a small „cineastly late-night performance“...

Yesterday night Puschel has had real problems to find to sleep. Not before around 2.00 AM we could be halfway sure that she sleeps deeply. She did sleep indeed the whole night through. Generally this is the case now, which is of course really good and important. And: Puschel now is so clear in her mind that we can talk totally normal with her. She forgets some things, which she would not have forgotten before her meningitis, but all in all we are very grateful and happy about her state.

 

26th of November 2011 

You noticed in the last days that Puschel precedes, slowly but steady. Meanwhile she‘s completely present and in this condition we cant‘t imagine anymore how it looked like in the last few weeks always. How I mentioned once - Dr. Siems didn‘t experience Puschel until now being fully conscious. Let‘s hope that the next encounter is as normal as it would be possible at the moment. Unfortunately he‘s so busy currently that he cannot come to Bülow. And we are not ready to drive to Rostock (by no means)...

At the moment a pressure in her legs bothers Puschel, which is obviously caused by strong water retention. We do not know yet where this comes from. It causes always pain in her legs, unfortunately, and these pains are very inconvenient and hard to resolve. Thus it continues to be a balancing act to find the right painkillers with the right dosage. Because all of these remedy cause side effects of course, even if it is only that Puschel gets very tired. But it can also happen that she gets disarranged in her mind and of course we absolutely want to avoid this.

Many thanks once again for all your consolation, whether via E-Mail or visitation or even financial support which some of you did. All of this is a huge gift but principally that all of you support Puschel and us in prayer! God bless you very much!

 

27th of November 2011 

It´s idiocratical - with a better wakefulness comes for Puschel a strengthened feeling of some pain in the nervs - mostly in her legs. That´s more strenuously for her. Today she was a little despaired because she can do what she want it´s never really possible to eliminate the pain completely. In that case it doesn´t matter if she stands up or is sitting or what ever... But that is really good for mobilizing her body especially her blood circulation.

On the one side it is very fine to see Puschel so awake and strong. But on the other side it is not so easy to stay beside her and being not able to do anyting against her pain.

So it will be important to mobilize Puschel in anyway but also to bring down her pain. Thankyou for praying for that. The truth is that there are not really medical ways to do that. It is not really explainably that Puschel has so much pain in her right leg where the main nerv (sciatica) is death since 4 years.

All the last nights were going well. Only less times we had to help her with some medicine to can sleep. May be that we have to have only  patience. So we hope that you will have it with us... Thank you so much!

 

28th of November 2011 

If her legs are hurting anyways, we can become active by ourself, at least a little. Therefore we went outside today again, at this time with a bright sunshine. It was not too long, but very nice. Apart from that there was physiotherapy again.

Puschel is still very awake and that‘s a good thing, too. Somehow her nerves are playing a trick on her, sometimes. Possibly this is still associated to her meningitis, because she has pain again and again where it should not be (or could not be). That‘s not only bothering her, but it‘s really onerous. We hope and pray very much that we we can find remedy against it, because essentially she could be much more active with regard to the cancer and maybe she could even really get up again. Of course this can happen only slowly, because she had to lay inactive for such a long time now.

It‘s nice that Puschel receives mail or other greetings from time to time from friends and sometimes even from unknown persons. Today she just received a book via mail. We are really grateful for all these signs of your love. May God reward you for that!

So now we hope for a good night again for Puschel. So it‘ll go bit by bit a step forward. At least this is our hope.

 

29th of November 2011 

Because there was a lot going on - new port needle, physiotherapy, etc. - and Puschel was altogether quite tired, we haven‘t been outside today. She still has these inexplicable pain in her legs. Partly it seems that these are so-called allodynia, perhaps phantom limb pains, too, which are very hard to verify and even harder to eliminate. We try to distract Puschel as effectively as possible, and to activate her, but of course she gets medicaments as well, which shall contain (and even do) the whole matter, but unfortunately one can barely eliminate all pains. Thereby we are very glad that she needs less pure painkillers bit by bit (opiate, morphine), because in abundance these opiates reduce the sensitivity of one‘s body against these medicaments, so that they finally do not help anymore if one needs it the most.

Altogether it‘s been a good day for all of us, again. Puschel is already sleeping quite deeply. In the past 10 days she slept through the night nearly always. Therefore we are extremely grateful. And so we are able to justifiably looking forward to the next day. Every day that Puschel can experience at home and we together with her, is an additional gift of God. Again and again we try to read e-mails from her friends (so from you) to her or to tell her about it. So she can experience steadily how much you accompany her on her way. Many thanks for that again and again!

 

30th of November 2011 

It‘s the same as with all of you: Each day has its own nuisance and each day has its own joy. Both are close together often, but ultimately we live by God‘s provision.

What did Jesus say?

„Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“

With Puschel it was the same today as it was yesterday. But, today we went outside extensively. The „sidetones“, so the excessive pains which are caused through motion and hence the concussions, have been very less today. The nerves are still tricking her. In the field that can look in the following way: Puschel has pain which actually does not have its reason in a mechanically or medically way. Caused by overexcitement and a false- or overreaction of her nerves respectively, she feels these pains really. But, with the common painkillers we can‘t eliminate these pains. So, we try to deal in different ways with these „tricks“ every day. We only can try, but the efforts are worth it. As you see, we had a good day again and we take it gratefully out of God‘s hand. We‘re looking forward to tomorrow - and also to a good and calm night.

 

01th of December 2011 

Actually there is nothing new to report. Puschel got some visitations, she wasn‘t outside today. It‘s still a fight to have as few pain as possible and as well it‘s a fight about Puschel‘s mind. She really would have liked to stand up today, at least once, but at the first attempt she had to notice that it‘s not working at all. Her legs just don‘t carry her. Thereby she considered before that it has to work... And that (namely that she can‘t appreciate the reality rightly) seems to be again a consequence of the meningitis. But yet, we want to mobilize her legs more and more, although we would have to get a so called „bed-bicycle“, with whom she can move her legs by herself as much as possible.

Apart from that the same is true for today, which was yesterday:

Each day has its own nuisance and each day has its own joy. Both are close together often, but ultimately we live by God‘s provision.

And what did Jesus say?

„Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“ (Matthew 6:34)

Puschel slept a lot today, altogether it wasn‘t bad. It‘s still a „spelling“ each new day. And every well new day is a gift!

 

02th of December 2011 

Today there was a birthday celebration in Puschel‘s room. Eva-Maria, Puschel‘s mum, turned one year older. But that wasn‘t the only reason to celebrate, because Puschel was able to celebrate with us nearly normally. Just this minute she ate the spaghetti from our lunch, roasted. She is eating with us nearly normal and altogether she is doing „birthday-like“ good. However, there were very many visitors today, so that Puschel was so busy that we could not go outside. All of that is really a reason to thank.

In addition to that another thing: after such a long time just laying in bed, it can easily happen that one gets saggy parts at the body. That happened to Puschel only once at her heel until now, on other parts not a bit.

Today she had physiotherapy at great length. In parallel, we ordered a „bed-bicycle“. That‘s a rack with what one can „ride a bicycle“ in bed. We will see, at what time we are able to show you a picture of it. That would provide an opportunity to Puschel to move her legs almost by herself and so she could animate her circulatory and mobilize herself possibly a bit. At the moment we‘re watching a movie, which distracts Puschel a little bit and keeps her awake. So she should have the best presuppositions to have a good night again.

 

03th of December 2011 

As you can see in the pictures above, Puschel had an important visitor today. And what should we say: Dr. Siems experienced Puschel completely awake and communicative for the first time. It was the same than in the last two weeks, insofar that was a good affirmation for him that it‘s been the right decision to espouse to get her home from Rostock. And if we assume that each new day, which we can experience together, is an additional gift, we got many presents until now. We are still very grateful for his effort and the effort of the whole team in Rostock.

Puschel took an extensive bath again, today. Currently her cousine Reinhild from Kiel is on a visit here and so she has one person more to watch a movie in the evening...

Altogether it‘s been a good day again and we‘re newly grateful for this gift. Thanks to you again for your interest, your prayers and for you giving thanks together with us. We‘re really thankful that so many of you back us and believe with us. That‘s again and again one of the greatest gifts, which we got in all these years of Puschel‘s disease. And we do not take it for granted...

 

04th of December 2011 

Today on the second Advent in our house was happened a lot. We had our church Sunday service and after that lunch together and coffee time. And because there was a lot of people so many of them wanted to visit Puschel on her bed. For her it was really nice because she was awake early in the morning. She was able to enjoy that the whole day. So it was a little hard but really positively. Later in the afternoon we could go into in the fresh air agian. That was a really nice trip with a lot of friends. You can see it by the picture above.

So you can see: It is doing still better - slowly but enduring. It is a great gift for us what nobody could see 4 weeks ago. I have been optimistically in Rostock at the last days there. But it would be presumptuous to say that anybody would say: I did know that. So we´re only thankfull and glad and take each single day as a gift. We know that is can be very different in a day. But we know too that for the future we can trust in our heavenly father. He knows what is the best for us.

 

05th of December 2011 

Once again there is not much to report. That‘s caused by the fact that today not to much happened at Puschel‘s place. After yesterday happened all the more, it was good that this day was a little more quiet. Puschel did well until the night. Again we felt a little bit more clarity at Puschel and we always delight in that and it makes us thankful. In the evening Puschel for some mysterious reason felt queasy suddenly, which is of course not that nice. So she was not able to eat with us this evening, but now we‘re with her to watch a little movie and she‘s quite up to the mark again. Tomorrow there will be physiotherapy among other things and therefore it would be good, if Puschel could have a good night now. Thanks that you watch this site again and again and that you pray for Puschel. It‘s really a sign for us that the Bible is true when it speaks about the church of Jesus as a big family of God in this world. This is when it becomes the most visible! Thank you for trusting HIM together with us!

 

07th of December 2011 

It‘s almost normal now that Puschel gets visitations, sometimes more, sometimes less. And that‘s obviously good for her, because it challenges her to concentrate on the people and to stay awake. Thus she outspend herself so that in the evening she is tired enough to sleep good and deep. In addition she took a bath tonight and therefore she is very tired now, even without the usual movie.

She‘s doing a little bit better day after day, at least it seems to be so. We‘re able to reduce the painkillers by slow degrees and she‘s totally clear in her mind now. All of this is nice and a reason to say thanks for all of us - and probably for you guys as well, isn‘t it?

Of course we have to take into account that there can be an aggravation at any time, but for the moment we´re glad for each good day. And we hope for more good or even better days... that‘s not prohibited, isn‘t it? Thank you for  being with us all the time! God bless you!

 

08th of December 2011 

Today we realized again how grateful we can be, despite all problems of the last months! I think we already mentioned it: A while ago I read that 25% of all adults, who are ill with meningitis die. And normally these people are healthy before they get a meningitis. Puschel has been anything but healthy and she just finished a radiotherapy, which was not innocuous at all. But then she overcame this meningitis relatively good. If she would have come to the ICU ward immediately and directly after Rostock she would have recoverd even faster, humanly seen. Because then she would have been directed by the physicians there immediately and of course by Dr. Siems as well.

Of course we can also complain about everything and ask why this detour took place. But that does not help us further. And considering the entire circumstances it could have come worse. We now for sure that Puschel is still deathly ill and eventually only God knows why all this has to be and is good as it is (how good that HE knows!!)!

However, that she is so clear in her mind now and that she can be at home and even enjoy today‘s supper totally isn‘t a given, but it is a real gift. She‘s still doing good and we are curious for each new day.

 

09th of December 2011 

Basically everything is still good, but now Puschel got a urinary tract infection and has to take antibiotics again. Furthermore she tried to work with her computer, today, and realized very quickly that this doesn‘t work at all. Most of the screen she sees double or very blurry. It bothers her and of course she doesn‘t have fun. Therefore she is a little bit depressed, because now she is just able to watch movies and cannot do anything else.

We assume that that this condition is caused by some of these many medicaments and of course we hope that we can reduce some of them as soon as possible.

And furthermore we hope that we can keep her in a good mood, what means to back her in a way that she doesn‘t lose courage. She really would like to read a little bit in the internet at least or write down some things. If one is only able to let other people write or read for him, that bothers, as you can imagine probably as good as we can.

Apart from that she is still doing good and makes progress. And so we hope that she overcomes this infection quickly and then gains strength further.

 

10th of December 2011 

Maybe there will be some new pictures tomorrow... at the moment there is really not too much happening and so you have to content with the existing ones...

There is not much happening with Puschel at the moment, but it‘s still exciting, because today a lump/boil appeared on the back of her head. This part is hurting quite strongly and so we hope that this is only a swollen lymph node or something else not too serious. But besides that things are still very good with her. It bothers Puschel meanwhile a little bit that she can solely lay in her bed and barely do something meaningful. But exactly this deficiency shows her altogether good condition, because it‘s good that she wants to do something and not just lay tiredly and apathetically in her bed. So we want to be grateful and glad about that and not moan. In a newer song it says: „Let‘s thank instead of moan, praise, when we lose courage; and we will experience that God does lots of miracles“.

Thank you that you participate in prayer, pleading and thanksgiving and that you did so in the past. For that we are very thankful, from the bottom of our hearts!!

 

11th of December 2011 

Who would have thought that we can show you these pictures today? Of course we would like to show you pictures with Puschel vertically, but we are really thankful that we are like this so far. Puschel joined the service of our church today, as you can see, at least on the screen in our living room. So she had a little bit more than the daily monotony, especially because a lot of people kept her in suspense. And of course she got a lot of visitors from our congregation at her bed, afterwards.

Altogether everything is within the scope. Some of her pains are definitely caused by the time just laying and not be able to move. All the more we hope that the health insurance will approve the purchase of a „bed-bicycle“ in the following week (once a little bit faster than usually). That‘s really an important (prayer) request, because it would be very important that Puschel comes in motion. We will keep you updated.

 

12th of December 2011 

Sorry, for being so late with the update, today. The bath took place very late, today... but therefore you will get a picture of it, today. After several attacks of pain, which are normally accompany a bath, she‘s now laying in her bed, calm and satisfied. Yet, she had to get her „Clexane“ (a shot against thrombosis) and other medicaments. And thereby some questions arose about the time in the hospitals, which Puschel barely remembers. These questions had to be discussed and therefore we are so late today...

And because Puschel had a little bit more „action“ today, Salome & Hellena came to visit, we have something to report. Puschel still has quite often problem to move her arms and legs. Nevertheless she formed this little elephant for her nieces today. And she did it as good as I would never do it, even without her problems... So, this is another point, which implies recovery. Thank you, God! And thanks to all of you for every prayer! And thanks to Dr. Siems, who is still supporting and advising us technically!

 

13th of December 2011 

There were many questions because of the boil, which appeared at Puschel‘s back of her head approximately a week ago. I would have given you some informations to this issue, if we would have some. But that‘s not the case. One assume that this is an aggradation(?) of superfluities of adipose tissue, sebaceous or a so called (colloquial) mucous/atheroma. It may sound unsavory, but it is likely not more than a  swollen lymph node or the like. So, we cannot tell you exactly, but we hope that it‘s a harmless thing and that it disappears automatically. At least the pressure and the pain waned and that‘s good as a start...

Apart from that Puschel had a full program this morning, including a change of her port-needle and other caring-provisions plus physiotherapy. After that she was really tired for lunch break. Now it is important to keep her awake so that she is able to sleep then later on. That worked great yesterday. Generally we can be very grateful that she sleeps very good, all the time and mostly even without any medicaments, which would help to make this happen. That is surely one of the reasons for her current altogether good condition. Now we hope that her health insurance clears the purchase of this „bicycle“ to get her more mobile.

 

14th of December 2011 

Today was a normal day! And that it is normal that Puschel comes through such a day good is really a present, isn‘t it? Who would‘ve thought that... the only silly thing is that the weather is everything else but good at the moment, but that‘s the same for most of you...

Puschel has still to deal with the consequences of the meningitis in some places, but altogether everything is good against expectations. Merely the mobilization is a acute matter. And that not solely for the reason to be able to get up, but first and foremost to get her circulation into motion. Because thereon hangs a whole string of other positive possibilities. So we hope and pray further that she can get this „bicycle“ soon. Thank you for praying with us. Tomorrow we will get in contact with her health insurance again...

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

 

15th of December 2011 

One can talk to Puschel very normal at the moment and you can chat with her like we used to do. That alone is a great present. However, she‘s still not able to read in her Computer or to write a Christmas Card. That‘s checkmating her from time to time. She would like to thank all of you who wrote her or support her financially and answer questions. But unfortunately that doesn‘t work at all. And altogether she doesn‘t have too much strength to be active during a day. Yet, everything is much better than it has been a few weeks ago. And so we hope that we can enjoy the Christmas season in peace together with her (against many serious expectations of the past weeks).

By the way, the health insurance explained us that their medical service needs at least two more weeks to find out if Puschel is allowed to have such a training tool for her legs... we will see...

 

16th of December 2011 

To continuously laying is really a burden for Puschel. Would you pray with us that we can mobilize her somehow as soon as possible. That‘s perhaps the key for altogether further progress. Of course we do not know at the moment how it looks like at the cancer front. There were no examinations in the last 12 weeks at all. So, it could be that at least in the areas of her body where she got the irradiation everything is a little bit more relaxed now. But of course we don‘t know how it is with the metastases in her lung or if she even has some more in other areas. But how good that we know one thing, namely that everything is still in God‘s hands. If all of this would follow a blind fate things would be indeed relatively bleak. On the one hand we don‘t have to cling to „it‘ll work out all right“. On the other hand we know that God is able to do miracles! We want to trust HIM along.!

 

17th of December 2011 

Today´again we haven´t to tell a lot. Puschel slept a big part of these day. You can imagine that it isn´t really good for her cause she should be able to sleep good at night.

Presently she has often a lot of pain in her legs. That are actually any neurophathic pains. These is pain against those it is not possible to fight.

We´re even waiting for more possibilities to can better mobilize her. Cause if she is only able to lay in her bed and not to move so it  can not getting really better.

However we are amazed again and agian how Puschel is able to handle these whole situation. Cause that still she isn´t completely depressiv it is really a miracle. Therefore ever and ever: thank you for each single prayer. We´re sure that these is a result of the prayers that Puschel has still such peace and calm. So we´re hopefully that Puschel is able again to sleep good at night and to can participate in our Sunday service tomorrow.

 

18th of December 2011 

Of course actually here at home happens a lo tmore on Sunday than while the week. But Puschel couldn´t experience a lot cause since yesterday she had a lot of pain in her legs especially the left one. Today it was still more hard. So we had to do a lot of possibly medical things to give Puschel some easement in her situation.

So Puschel could live through the day more or less awake but mostly less. But going into the sunday service in our church wasn´t possible for her. Now at night it is little more relaxed. At later noon  we said: if she has still pain in her legs and we´re not able to do something against so we can also go outside into the fresh air... So Puschel could enjoy our circoumstance a little. It was a little changeing and also a little more circulation of her blood.

Between we had a consultation with Dr. Siems. So tomorrow we want to try  a different medicamentous option.

All in all we´re despite of these thankfull that she is doing well. We are hopefully only that we can handle these. It would be good if Puschel could get more of the day than only sleepin and medicine...

 

19th of December 2011 

For the biggest part of the day it was not really better for Puschel than yesterday. She had a lot of pain, may be by a hard pressures because of a lot of water  in her legs. But also for that we had the consultation with Dr. Siems yesterday and the arrangement for canging some  medicine. Today in the morning we had a big list with mor than 13 different medicines for our house physician for the Christmastime and until the new year. Our house physician is doing all possibly things for Puschel.

So tomorrow we wil execute the other recommendations of Dr. Siems. Visibly the new medicine for tracking out the water from Puschels body has worked a lot. So Puschel has some less pressure now in her legs.

At noon Puschel got a visit of her godmother Esther and their daughter Rahel. Since that point Puschel is awake and really present. At night came Puschels cousin Christian from Stuttgart for a visit. He is a nurse there in the oncology clinic.

So he was predestinated to give Puachel an injection with “Clexane” - against thrombosis.

Now we´re hopefully again for a good night. Hope Puschel is able to sleep andure the whole night - better than the last two nights. It seems now that it could be. It is a little more relayed now.

 

20th of December 2011 

Now it took me longer again, sorry. But today night Puschel‘s little sister Esther came home for the Christmas season and now a lot of stuff had to be clarified with Puschel. She is doing a little bit better than in the last days, even thought this day was neither for her nor for us really relaxed. This evening it seemed to be a little bit more relaxed again, now she is sleeping deeply, provided with everything what‘s possible. She ate a little bit for dinner. But today she gets a complex nutrition with the drip, so that she is altogether well balanced provided. The dehydration is working quite good and so we hope that the pressure wanes continuing.

So, meanwhile you are informed about every little detail... Altogether we‘re glad and grateful that we are so well provided for with everything and even so well counseled. Now we just hope that Puschel is awake and strong enough during the Christmas Days so that she really can realize her home environment. It will be going on something here at odd times, and even the Christmas Days itself are nice for her in their quietness and with the service if she can catch them. Thanks for praying for that!

 

21th of December 2011

We would like to give you better news today. But the news today are not better than yesterday. Presently Puschel is sleeping a lot. In that case all things are more relaxed of course. But if she is awake (sometimes she wakes up by the pain) then noting is relaxed. Until now we haven´t an effective method or medicine against these pain in her legs. In that all she has not the convulsions and the cramps are of the past. The lags have all these pain visibly because of neurepathic or sensitive reasons.

Today Puschel had physiotherapy again. And the support of the doctors is still really good and helpfull. So we are still hopefully that the last medicamentous chengings will work soon. Apparently we have still to be patiently. That is like you know not so easy if you only can  stay beside Puschel and not being able to help her. But even more heavy is it for Puschel herself. She is losing more and more her power and energy for this fight. We only want to pray that God will do all things mercifully that she wil not getting depressiv. At the moment she is only laying and being tired and having pain or are sleeping. She isn´t able to do anything.

 

22th of December 2011

A liitle sad (but not depressiv) today Puschel said ti me: “Now it will be not possible that I am can go with you all to Bristow into our Christmas service...” Now that is not possible. But we will make for her a movie record. So she will have her Christmas service a little bit later. A not so small “church group” she has also at home... may be we will have some visitors in that night.

We´re still hopefully that Puschel can overcome these idiocratical pain and can be again more awake and more lucky and more clear than right now. But with so many friends and prayers and supporters in her background... - thank you all so much again for that all! If here at home anybody can receive a parcel packet then it is Puschel...! We´re really very thankfully for that! And we don´t lose our confidence - also just now in these Christmas time!! We can celebrate the birthday those shows us the love of our heavenly father so evident that all onfidence and hope has really a basis. In that all our hope is going further than only up to our health or human power or richness too!

 

23th of December 2011

A liitle sad (but not depressiv) today Puschel said ti me: “Now it will be not possible that I am can go with you all to Bristow into our Christmas service...” Now that is not possible. But we will make for her a movie record. So she will have her Christmas service a little bit later. A not so small “church group” she has also at home... may be we will have some visitors in that night.

We´re still hopefully that Puschel can overcome these idiocratical pain and can be again more awake and more lucky and more clear than right now. But with so many friends and prayers and supporters in her background... - thank you all so much again for that all! If here at home anybody can receive a parcel packet then it is Puschel...! We´re really very thankfully for that! And we don´t lose our confidence - also just now in these Christmas time!! We can celebrate the birthday those shows us the love of our heavenly father so evident that all onfidence and hope has really a basis. In that all our hope is going further than only up to our health or human power or richness too!

 

24th of December 2011

Now I´m sitting beside Puschels bed. She is still in unpacking and looking greetings and gifts. The Christmas services are over so it is a little more quietly. Puschel is right now really good present. She is now in the middle of all surroundings. She is normal in her hearing an talking. That wasn´t so at the last days you know. seems that the pain also is limited. May be Puschel is only good diverted from attention... However she is doing much better than before. Puschel was a little sad caus she couldn´t be with us in the service. But we all were united in the joy about Puschel can be at home ant nor in a hospital or otherwhere. It could be too much more bad or difficult - if you thing about the last three month.

So the Christmas family presents gifts party now is happen in Puschels sleeping room... But the actual message and joy of the Christmas isn.t depend of the respective situation. Puschel said just before some minutes: I´m thankfull that you are doing all Christmas things in my room...

So there is more joy and thankfullness and that is good.

The visitors of our services got a card with the picture and the bible verse below. Gods mercifulness and love to us alls isn´t visibly better than by the Christmas message. Hopefully a lot of people will recognize that again.

 

25th of December 2011

I even wrote that in the Christmas time it could be that we will get some visits. Today it came... Puschels cousins from Klaber came with fellow students and freinds from the whole world: from Iran, China and Peru. So it was an international event today in Puschels room.

And so Puschel had to be awake and activ. But that is good you know. So she is distract from all the pain and completely activ.

It is not really better than before with her indefinable pain. But therefore such distraction are much helpfull. Otherwise Puschel is sleeping a to long time - and she has to much time for concentrate to the pain. The problem is that Puschel isn´t really able to do anything except sleeping, watching movies or feeling pain.

We are still hopefully that sometimes she will be able to come over these point and can be awake without these pain.

Please preay with us that God will touch her nerves... Thankyou and blessing Christmas days!!

 

26th of December 2011

Tomorrow we want to try again to go outside. All in all we haven´t to report some news. Today Puschel participated in our church service from her bed... in about the end she selpt... - a church sleep is like everybody knows the best sleep... It is astonishing how long you can sleep on a day... But of course the sleep at night is suffering under that. So it is still a balance thing with the handling of the pain and sleep medicine.

We would like so much to can keep Puschel awake at the day and to let her sleep at night. But that isn´t alltimes possible.

So each day is still a new attempt.  But we don´t want to stop these. And if you want we will still keep you informed about all. Of course we hope each single day that God will let feel her His amazing love to her. She knows that but sometimes the feeling is going down in all that pain... Thank you that you are still praying for her!

 

27th of December 2011

At the moment it is allready a problem that Puschel is only laying in her bed. To change the position in her bed is really not easy. In the meantime it will be a problem if Puschel would get the trainings  device for her legs. Cause her muscles and her tendons are getting shorter and shorter and have to grow up again from point zero.

For the physiotherapist is the most important target to make a lymphodrainage. Cause her thighs are really hard despite of a good medicamentous drainage. Apparently the lymphatic tissue in the tumor area is blocked a lot.

Today Puschel had a visit of frieds again. But after that she is really weak everytime. So she has to sleep after that a good time... We were busy today to can get the necessary medicine for the next days. So also these day was going very fast...

 

28th of December 2011

Cause you know all the good and not so good times - today we really better news for you. Puschel had been really awake and very happily. She was evident more clear than at the last days.

That´s of course really a relief for us... It is doubly joyfull to talk with her about all things.

We are hopefully that sometimes will come a point when Puschel has not longer so much pain in her legs those can pull her down. Allmost these good situations endures only up to the evening.

Yesterday we didn´t need some sleeping pills or injections. So we hope for the same today. All in all it seems to go up a little... But who knows what will be tomorrow...? How good to know that our Lord has all things in His hands!

 

29th of December 2011

At the last days Puschel had to fight against a strong nausea. It is not really explainable for us what the reason is of these nausea. But it is a really bad situation for Puschel to can do nothing without these. She isn´t right able to watch a movie or some other things. Also to concentrate for some visitors is not so easy. She want to enjoy that but it isn´t possible. So we hope only that we can find out the reason for that. Or better would it  be she would doing much better soon...

Furthermore Puschel got a full bath today. After that came the medical care service to do some steps for care or to support our own activities.

So we hope again for a good sleep at the night. That has been better at the last two nights.

 

30th of December 2011

Do you remember to the news about three month ago? The things were going really close to the limit. So we didn´t know if Puschel will be there on the next day or not.

Now we are thinking about such things like the nausea.., That is comparatively a more luxurious problem, or not? Of course not only luxurious... Cause if you have only a little nausea for the whole day it isn´t only humorously. But right now it is a little better even though not complete away.

But it is even really a miracle that we are looking presently to such problems. Really important are also these news that visibly the pain in Puschels legs are significant reduced. They´re also not completely away but reduced a lot too. So Puschel is more and more able to communicate with the people around. So she can enjoy much more the whole day. May God give that these situation will get more and more stabil!

 

31th of December 2011

At the last day of these old year Puschel is doing some better than before at the last nine weeks. Nine weeks is the time when we could go back home from the hospital in Rostock. You know the ups and downs of the last weeks. For sure every day in the future will still be  exciting. Today we thought again about a lot of moments at the last month. There were some of these moments when we didn´t know how it will go on. Ofte it seems that we´re on the end of all on these earth with Puschel. So we´re much more thankfull today to can celebrate these New Year´s Eve all together. And that with a Puschel those is more clear and more present than some weeks ago. Also the nausea is reduced a little.

So today we want to be only thankfull. Puschel got a Bible verse in our devotion for the New Year´s Eve from Psalms 139,9: If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea ,even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. How often we (and some of you too) prayed that God will let feel her His peace and His presence in all states of her consciousness.

With these His peace we can go into the new Year! Like a song say us: “God is there, He is close to us” That He is also if we can not feel it! In a lot of situations He helped us through or He carried us completely. Thanks to our Lord!

 

 

My life is in your hands!

You don’t have to worry And don’t you be afraid. Joy comes in the morning, Troubles they don’t last always. For there’s a friend named Jesus Who will wipe your tears away. And if your heart is broken,
Just lift your hands and say:
Oh, I know that I can make it, I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands! With Jesus I can take it, with Him I know I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands.

So when your tests and trials They seem to get you down, And all your friends and loved ones Are nowhere to be found. Remember there’s a friend named Jesus Who will wipe your tears away. And if your heart is broken, Just lift your hands and say:
Oh, I know that I can make it, I know that I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands! With Jesus I can take it, with Him I know I can stand. No matter what may come my way, My life is in your hands.

Glad to know, that I know, that I know My life is in your hand. When I’m on a mountain top I may be down in the valley No matter what I’m going true My life is in your hand.
That’s why I love you Jesus, You mean everything to me
My life is in your hands.

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Dear friends;
if you want to find some pictures what about you read in the text, you should search these pictures on the page of the monthly pictures under
“Fotos”. You have here the link for this monthly picture page:

Diary
2011

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